Movie Reviews

Naughty cinematic Santa perfection

How many times have you considered something aptly described as "totally disgusting" a very good thing?

Shopping mall Santa Willie (Billy Bob Thornton) prepares to greet the little darlings in "Bad Santa." (Dimension Films)

I can think of exactly one.  That's Billy Bob Thornton's riveting and revolting performance as a boozing, booty chasing, conniving thief of a department store Santa with a good (but very well hidden) heart.

And here's something else.  Can you believe it's been 10 years since Thornton, the star and Academy Award-winning screenwriter of the equally disturbing Sling Blade (1996), slipped into the worn Santa suit, lit up a cigarette and greeted the kiddies as a conman St. Nick in Bad Santa?

Nor can I.  But if you're in the mood for an edgy alternative to the usual holiday season leading man, like Jimmy Stewart as squeaky clean George Bailey in It's a Wonderful Life or the persistent, but kind of annoying kid in A Christmas Story, slide Bad Santa (Rated R) into the DVR, grab hold of something and hit "play."

Just to make sure everyone understands, we're not talking family entertainment here.  So wait until the kids and/or the grandkids are safely out of sight.

As Willie, Thornton, in one of his finest screen performances in my humble opinion, grovels brilliantly as a desperately lonely, womanizing alcoholic with nowhere to go but up.

Willie, of course, goes down.  Way down.

 

Don't miss Friday's Richland Emeritus kick-off

The Richland College Emeritus plus 50 spring the kick-off, originally planned for Dec. 6 but postponed due to the recent icy blast, will launch with free hot coffee and muffins this Friday (Dec. 13) at 9 a.m.

Beginning at 9:30, instructors will take turns touting their upcoming classes in everything from aging issues, current events, nutrition, music, religion and even screenwriting. 

Yours truly will be among the instructors.  My spring class, very likely be my last in the Richland Emeritus plus 50 program for a while, will focus on Oscar-winning Hollywood icon Marlon Brando.  We'll dive into the fascinating subject of the man behind the myth.

This is my personal invitation for you to sign up for my spring class and others and to come to the always exciting kick-off event on Dec. 13 (Richland's Sabine Hall, Room 118).

It's free and there's snacks; coffee and muffins at 9 a.m.  Call 972-238-6972 to reserve your spot.

A sad silent (good)night

Do you appreciate, love and/or admire silent films?

I'm afraid there is some startling news bouncing around media outlets this morning.

This single frame may be one of the few remaining from the silent version of "The Great Gatsby." (flixist.com)

In a shocking report just out by the Library of Congress, it appears about 70 percent of 11,000 silent movies made between 1912 and 1930 have been lost due to what the Associated Press is calling "decay and neglect over the past 100 years."

According to an article posted on the Hollywood Reporter website:

“'The Library of Congress can now authoritatively report that the loss of American silent-era feature films constitutes an alarming and irretrievable loss to our nation’s cultural record,” Librarian of Congress James Billington said in a statement. “We have lost most of the creative record from the era that brought American movies to the pinnacle of world cinematic achievement in the 20th century.'”

Some of the classics starring silent film era stars Charlie Chaplin, Buster Keaton and Mary Pickford (Wings) have been saved and, in many cases, restored to near-pristine condition.

Sadly, other classics like The Great Gatsby from 1926, Cleopatra (1917), The Patriot (1928) and Lon Chaney's London After Midnight (1927) are presumably lost forever.

Silents, it appears, are no longer golden.

Parody, the new way to disrespect

Who says I'm not on the cutting edge of everything cinematic and trendy?

Well, plenty of people, but that's not the point.

George Bailey (Jimmy Stewart) once caught a fish this big! Not really, but as long as we're spoofing. (RKO Radio Pictures)

Parodies are all the rage this year.

From music videos like the Bound 3 spoof of Kanye West and Kim Kardashian's Bound 2 by Seth Rogen and James Franco to feature films, videos are hotter than this year's "must-have" toy on Black Friday.

Frank Capra's 1946 Christmas classic It's a Wonderful Life appears to be the holiday target of choice this year when it comes to movies.

According to an article posted on the Hollywood Reporter website, "One is by comedian Owen Weber and the other is from Jean-Marc Vallee, director of the Oscar contender Dallas Buyers Club.

Leonardo DiCaprio as the title character in "The Wolf of Wall Street." (thewrap.com)

"Weber recut a Wonderful Life trailer to the tune of Kanye West's  Black Skinhead, which is also heard in the first trailer for Martin Scorsese's The Wolf of Wall Street (opening Dec. 25).

"Weber's parody The Wolf of Bedford Falls ... depicts Jimmy Stewart's hero as a corrupt sellout to evil banker Mr. Potter," the article states.

Sacrilege or homage?

I'll say a little (actually, a lot) of both.

I know this, though.  The version of "It's a Wonderful Life" you'll see in the video below is not your mama's version of George Bailey.

If you can't wait until dark

It was my pleasure to bring my Movie Memories presentation "Boo!  Hollywood's Great Thrillers" to the Intermezzos seniors group at St. Rita's Catholic Church on Inwood Rd. in Dallas Tuesday night.

It was all part of a festive Halloween-themed gathering that included catered food, costumes, prizes and my presentation of classic movie thrillers ranging from the original Alien (1979), ranked as my personal scariest movie ever, to John Carpenter's Halloween (1978) and beyond.

So thanks to Carol and all the fine, fun Intermezzos over at St. Rita's.  It was a great night of frivolity, food and scary movies, like Wait Until Dark, the creepy 1967 thriller starring Audrey Hepburn in an Academy Award-nominated performance as a sightless women going up against some very bad guys who invade her apartment in search of drugs she has no idea have been placed in her home.

Looking for something really scary to see on Halloween night?  You could do a lot worse than that one, and you don't even have to wait until dark to get creeped out.

 

 
Buying a movie ticket used to be as simple as strolling up to the box-office window, stating the name of the film you've chosen and saying something like, "Two for 'The Sound of Music,' please."

These days, gaining admission to a movie may not be as difficult as signing up for affordable health care on-line, but it's close.  There's regular (no frills), 3-D (special glasses), XD (super digital), IMAX (super-sized screen), IMAX 3-D (super-sized screen and special glasses) and even Sony 4K Digital (twice the usual digital resolution).

It's no surprise that I recently got a near-frantic post movie theater visit call from my brother:  "What is XD and why did it cost me $11.50 per ticket to see 'Captain Phillips?'"

Easy, big bro.  This is all you need to know:

If you really want to get launched into the experience of what I like to call a big movie like the outer-space odyssey "Gravity" starring Sandra Bullock and George Clooney, I say opt for the biggest screen and even those awkward 3-D glasses.  You'll pay premium prices at IMAX theaters and even other chains boasting IMAX screens, but, occasionally, spending the extra bucks pays off in added thrills and sound.

Otherwise, I suggest just going for what we used to call the movie.  Let's put it this way, if you were at a gas pump, you'd opt for regular unleaded.  Not plus.  Not premium.  For many of us, we're just looking for "regular gas" entertainment without the frills and sell-you-up gimmicks.

That would be my chosen path for intense dramas like "Captain Phillips," comic-dramas such as "The Family" and the like.

It can be tricky, though.  My brother ended up paying a premium price because he just looked at the movie ad in the newspaper and picked out the best time.  Unfortunately, movie planning is not that simple anymore.  Make sure there is no XD, 3-D, IMAX or IMAX 3-D in that little square of the movie ad (with tiny type) that contains your chosen time.  You'll still enjoy the movie and even have a little money left over for popcorn and Milk Duds.

But don't get me started about the price of Milk Duds at movie houses these days.

This should come as no surprise

Aging movie-goers, especially baby boomers, will still line up for aging, but not necessarily baby boomer, movie stars they admire.

A recent article in The Hollywood Reporter pointed this encouraging fact out in an article and online post titled "Box Office Lesson:  Older Crowd Prefers Seasoned Stars, Shuns Youngsters."

Cited in the article as examples are the aforementioned "Gravity" and "Captain Phillips."

"Older audiences require a more substantive reason to see a movie than just a 'wow' factor or an effective trailer. Star power, while seemingly unimportant to younger moviegoers who appear to only care about concept, acts as sort of a movie insurance policy," says Rentrak box-office analyst Paul Dergarabedian.

"A Hanks, Clooney or Bullock in a movie takes some of the risk out of the equation when older audiences make the decision to invest their time and money in a particular film," The Hollywood Reporter article added.

Click here to read the entire article.

The movie I can't wait to see

I know, I know.  "Last Vegas," starring Michael Douglas, Robert De Niro, Morgan Freeman and Kevin Kline as "mature" guys heading to Vegas to celebrate the upcoming wedded bliss of the last single member of the foursome, looks like "The Hangover" for geezers.

OK, then.  I'm in.  Call it a guilty pleasure.

"Last Vegas" opens Nov.1 at a theater near you.  No 3-D, IMAX or super-digital sound required.

(Audrey Hepburn photo from "Wait Until Dark" courtesy:  Warner Bros./"Captain Phillips" photo courtesy:  Sony Pictures)

Tickets, please ... but which one?

Buying a movie ticket used to be as simple as strolling up to the box-office window, stating the name of the film you've chosen and saying something like, "Two for 'The Sound of Music,' please."

These days, gaining admission to a movie may not be as difficult as signing up for affordable health care on-line, but it's close.  There's regular (no frills), 3-D (special glasses), XD (super digital), IMAX (super-sized screen), IMAX 3-D (super-sized screen and special glasses) and even Sony 4K Digital (twice the usual digital resolution).

It's no surprise that I recently got a near-frantic post movie theater visit call from my brother:  "What is XD and why did it cost me $11.50 per ticket to see 'Captain Phillips?'"

Easy, big bro.  This is all you need to know:

If you really want to get launched into the experience of what I like to call a big movie like the outer-space odyssey "Gravity" starring Sandra Bullock and George Clooney, I say opt for the biggest screen and even those awkward 3-D glasses.  You'll pay premium prices at IMAX theaters and even other chains boasting IMAX screens, but, occasionally, spending the extra bucks pays off in added thrills and sound.

Otherwise, I suggest just going for what we used to call the movie.  Let's put it this way, if you were at a gas pump, you'd opt for regular unleaded.  Not plus.  Not premium.  For many of us, we're just looking for "regular gas" entertainment without the frills and sell-you-up gimmicks.

That would be my chosen path for intense dramas like "Captain Phillips," comic-dramas such as "The Family" and the like.

It can be tricky, though.  My brother ended up paying a premium price because he just looked at the movie ad in the newspaper and picked out the best time.  Unfortunately, movie planning is not that simple anymore.  Make sure there is no XD, 3-D, IMAX or IMAX 3-D in that little square of the movie ad (with tiny type) that contains your chosen time.  You'll still enjoy the movie and even have a little money left over for popcorn and Milk Duds.

But don't get me started about the price of Milk Duds at movie houses these days.

This should come as no surprise

Aging movie-goers, especially baby boomers, will still line up for aging, but not necessarily baby boomer, movie stars they admire.

A recent article in The Hollywood Reporter pointed this encouraging fact out in an article and online post titled "Box Office Lesson:  Older Crowd Prefers Seasoned Stars, Shuns Youngsters."

Cited in the article as examples are the aforementioned "Gravity" and "Captain Phillips."

"Older audiences require a more substantive reason to see a movie than just a 'wow' factor or an effective trailer. Star power, while seemingly unimportant to younger moviegoers who appear to only care about concept, acts as sort of a movie insurance policy," says Rentrak box-office analyst Paul Dergarabedian.

"A Hanks, Clooney or Bullock in a movie takes some of the risk out of the equation when older audiences make the decision to invest their time and money in a particular film," The Hollywood Reporter article added.

Click here to read the entire article.

The movie I'm looking forward to

I know, I know.  "Last Vegas," starring Michael Douglas, Robert De Niro, Morgan Freeman and Kevin Kline as "mature" guys heading to Vegas to celebrate the upcoming wedded bliss of the last single member of the foursome, looks like "The Hangover" for geezers.

OK, then.  I'm in.  Call it a guilty pleasure.

"Last Vegas" opens Nov.1 at a theater near you.  No 3-D, IMAX or super-digital sound required.

 

("Captain Phillips" photo courtesy:  Sony Pictures)

Who let 'The Killer Shrews' out?

The red carpet was rolled out, a golden Oscar standee was in place and around 135 members and guests of The Guild of Dallas Heritage Village filled the Lakewood Country Club ballroom Wednesday for the Guild's Annual Fundraiser Luncheon.

I was honored to be the guest speaker, performing my "Lights, Camera, DALLAS!" presentation celebrating movies made in and around Dallas over the years.  So a big thanks to Guild members Carol Campbell, Lucy Blachly, Rae Marquis and Gary Smith and Scott, the Lakewood Country Club audio-visual guru, who made my part of the event a joyous experience.

Some of the Dallas movie titles might surprise you, like the football comedy "Semi-Tough" of 1977 or even the violence-laced "Bonnie and Clyde" of 1967, which comes complete with a banjo-picking movie score featuring bluegrass maestros Lester Flatt and Earl Scruggs.

No Dallas-made flick got a more vocal reaction than the one featured just below, though.  Click the button to revisit Dallas film-making circa 1959.

 

You are for whom the school bell tolls

The Brookhaven College school bell is ringing for my "Movies Set in the Lone Star State" series of classes that begin Oct. 15. 

Don't miss your chance to see some terrific films set in Texas.  Call and register today!

Here's the official class listing:

ENTERTAINMENT

Movies Set in the Lone Star State

SRCZ 1000-21103                                                      Cost:  $25                                                           Ratliff

Tuesday           12-3 p.m.                     10/15-11/12                             M116

Book cased by two big-screen treatments about the fall of the Alamo, this Texas-based series includes "Tender Mercies," "Hud" and "Places in the Heart."  Learn the vast differences between John Wayne's Davy Crockett in the 1960 "Alamo" and Billy Bob Thornton's in 2004.  See Robert Duvall at his finest in "Tender Mercies" and Paul Newman as the worthless son you'll love to hate as "Hud."  Also, find out what prompted Sally Field's "You like me" outburst at the Academy Awards in 1985.

To register and find out more contact:

DeBorah Whaley-Stephenson, M203

Brookhaven College Students 50plus

972-860-4807

www.50plusclasses.com

Oh boy, what movie should I rent?

I've often thought I missed my real chance to get wealthy as a film critic.

If I were in it for the money alone, I wouldn't have wasted my time writing about which movies to go see or rent, I'd just hang out in front of a popular video store and offer my expertise for cash on the spot.

A film critic as street performer, if you will.  Crowdfunding, I believe, is the term being texted around these days.

The process would go something like this:  You, confused by what movie to rent, would get out of your car in the parking lot of Blockbuster or other video store (when those were still around) and slouch toward the door.

Nine times out of 10 you knew you'd be overwhelmed by hundreds, perhaps thousands of choices inside.  And, most of the time, you had already forgotten what title your spouse, significant other or child told you to get.

And then, there I'd be, right by the door with suggestions for latest arrivals, a really good foreign film, a classic or even, dare I mention it, a documentary.  You would give me a dollar and move inside to rent your movie with confidence.

Oh, and I would get rich (counting on hordes of happy return customers, of course).

I said all that to say this.  If I were standing in front of your favorite video store today, I would urge you to rent the superb documentary titled "Young @ Heart" that graced movie screens in 2007.

"Young @ Heart" chronicles the final weeks of rehearsal as the Young at Heart Chorus of Northampton, Mass. prepares for its annual concert series.  This is not your usual chorus.  For one thing, the average age is 81, and many of the chorus members have major health problems to overcome.  Oh, and did I mention these vibrant seniors sing everything from James Brown to Sonic Youth.

The scene where they melt the hearts of young prisoners with their version of "Forever Young" will fill your heart with joy.  "Young @ Heart" never gets better, though, than when the late Fred Knittle, a former World War II machine-gunner, sings a haunting version of Coldplay's "Fix You."

Knittle died at the age of 83 in 2009.  He is survived by his wife, four children, 12 grandchildren, thousands of movie fans and one film critic you may know who desperately wanted to attend his funeral, but couldn't due to circumstances beyond his control.

 

Vacation Movie School

Remember Vacation Bible School when you were a kid?

Boy, I do.  Mom would drop my brother and I off at the First Baptist Church in Grand Prairie on a weekday -- and a morning at that -- for Bible study shortly after regular school broke for the summer.

And, if we could recite all the Books of the New Testament, we'd get a snow cone.

That's sort of what's going on with what I'm calling Vacation Movie School, except for the mandatory memorization and, sadly, the sugary blast of a dripping grape or red snow cone as a reward.

You need to sign up in the next week or so, but some seats are available for my "Hollywood's Hot Movie Scandals" non-credit Emeritus plus 50 class at Richland College next month.

The admission fee is a mere $22.  Over the course of four Tuesdays in July (the 9th through July 30 from 10:30 a.m. to noon) we'll dig into some of the biggest scandals that rocked Hollywood over the years.

On July 23, for instance, we'll take an in-depth look at the meteoric rise to stardom and the sad end to actress, sex symbol Marilyn Monroe.  The death of the "special friend" of a couple of famous Kennedys and Frank Sinatra was ruled a "probable suicide."  But was it?  Hmmm.

The four-week series, which will also put scandals involving Lana Turner (July 16) and Ingrid Bergman (July 30) under the microscope, kicks off July 9 with the sordid tale of the crash to blacklisting and ruin of silent film star Roscoe "Fatty" Arbuckle in the early 1920s.  But what's the real story?

The Richland Emeritus plus 50 classroom only holds 20, so if you live in the Dallas-Fort Worth area ensure yourself a seat by signing up today.  Click here for registration info for "Hollywood's Hot Movie Scandals" (Course No. SRCZ 1000 84915), or call 972-238-6146 or 972-238-6147.

I can't promise snow cones, but there will be snacks!

Vacation Movie School

Marilyn Monroe (Courtesy: photobucket.com)

Remember Vacation Bible School when you were a kid?

Boy, I do.  Mom would drop my brother and I off at the First Baptist Church in Grand Prairie on a weekday -- and a morning at that -- for Bible study shortly after regular school broke for the summer.

And, if we could recite all the Books of the New Testament, we'd get a snow cone.

That's sort of what's going on with what I'm calling Vacation Movie School, except for the mandatory memorization and, sadly, the sugary blast of a dripping grape or red snow cone as a reward.

Roscoe "Fatty" Arbuckle (Courtesy: sfweekly.com)

You need to sign up in the next week or so, but some seats are available for my "Hollywood's Hot Movie Scandals" non-credit Emeritus plus 50 class at Richland College next month.

The admission fee is a mere $22.  Over the course of four Tuesdays in July (the 9th through July 30 from 10:30 a.m. to noon) we'll dig into some of the biggest scandals that rocked Hollywood over the years.

On July 23, for instance, we'll take an in-depth look at the meteoric rise to stardom and the sad end to actress, sex symbol Marilyn Monroe.  The death of the "special friend" of a couple of famous Kennedys and Frank Sinatra was ruled a "probable suicide."  But was it?  Hmmm.

The four-week series, which will also put scandals involving Lana Turner (July 16) and Ingrid Bergman (July 30) under the microscope, kicks off July 9 with the sordid tale of the crash to blacklisting and ruin of silent film star Roscoe "Fatty" Arbuckle in the early 1920s.  But what's the real story?

The Richland Emeritus plus 50 classroom only holds 20, so if you live in the Dallas-Fort Worth area ensure yourself a seat by signing up today.  Click here for registration info for "Hollywood's Hot Movie Scandals" (Course No. SRCZ 1000 84915), or call 972-238-6146 or 972-238-6147.

I can't promise snow cones, but there will be snacks!

A Friday funny

Want to end the work week and kick off the weekend right?  Start with a laugh.  Nobody made me laugh more than the late, great Rodney Dangerfield.  Enjoy!

 

 

Strange bedfellows

Doris Day and Rock Hudson in "Pillow Talk" in 1959. (Courtesy: amazonaws.com)

Film critics don't get many death threats.  On major daily newspapers (Remember those?), anger-driven threats are usually blurted out to political columnists or someone dumb enough to mess with the layout of the crossword puzzle or TV schedule.

I got an impassioned death threat in the wee hours of the morning of Oct. 4, 1985, though.  It all began shortly after severely withered movie idol Rock Hudson, who had kept his homosexuality secret from his fans for decades, succumbed in Beverly Hills weighing a mere 140 pounds.

(Courtesy: findadeath.com)

The next day, I was charged with writing the obituary for the Oscar-nominated star of "Giant," "Pillow Talk" and "The Undefeated" for the San Antonio Light newspaper.

"And don't forget to mention that he died of AIDS," my editor mentioned casually over his shoulder as he walked away.

That sounded a lot like a straight news story to me.  Why me?  Film critics prefer something other than the grit and grime of real life.  That's why many of us became film critics in the first place.  We like to sit in a dark room and be transported off to somewhere wonderful like Oz or Willy Wonka's chocolate factory or -- if that's not possible -- to the concession stand where Milk Duds await.

It only took me a few seconds to realize that the San Antonio Light was not my rodeo to run.  So I wrote what seemed to me at the time to be a glorious bit of prose about Hudson's long career that began as a truck driver and hanging around outside the movie studio gates in Hollywood passing out glamor stills of himself.  If we can believe Hollywood legend, and why the heck can't we?, a movie publicist coined the phrase "beefcake" with the square-jawed Rock Hudson (real name Roy Harold Scherer Jr.) in mind.

And, since the Associated Press had already spilled the beans, I included the fact that Rock Hudson, widely beloved for his squeaky clean romps in the cinematic sack with Doris Day and other starlets, had succumbed to AIDS.

You must know this.  AIDS is a horrible disease these days.  In the early and mid-'80s, it was a mystery disease that killed people -- primarily gay men -- in a raging storm of controversy.

So the next day my Rock Hudson obit hit the streets.  That night, or I should say about 3 the next morning, a telephone ring (probably about the 20th ring) rattled me out of my slumber. 

"If you write that Rock Hudson died of AIDS again, I'm going to kill you," an almost shrieking person shouted into my ear.

This is the point in our little one-sided conversation here that I'd like to report that without missing a beat I quipped back, "I don't think Rock Hudson is going to die of anything again.  Once pretty much does it, as far as we know."

I didn't, though.  I froze, then checked to make sure the doors were all locked and went back to bed thinking, "Hey, somebody is actually reading this stuff."

The next day I casually mentioned to my colleagues at the paper that I -- a film critic, no less -- had gotten a death threat during the night.  Let's just say the editors sprang into immediate action; insisting that I report the incident to the police right away.  Their prompt concern impressed me until I finally realized that they were just protecting themselves in the event of my untimely demise and a possible lawsuit by my heirs.

The two police officers who showed up at my house -- you know, the scene of the crime -- appeared to be right out of Central Casting.  We've all seen this scenario at the movies on a regular basis.  There was literally one grizzled vet two weeks away from retirement and a rookie still getting used to all the free doughnuts.

"The caller said what, that he would kill you?" the rookie asked excitedly, jotting everything down furiously in his notepad.  "Yes he did," I replied, catching a discreet glimpse of the beat-weary cop staring idly out the window into my backyard.

The last time I saw a grin that big on a policeman was years later when I was pulled over for doing 80 in a 55 trying to get down to the Blue Bell Ice Cream factory in Brenham for a Fourth of July celebration.

Hudson's death has been on my mind lately because The Hollywood Reporter posted a story recently about how Hudson's wife confronted her husband in 1958 and recorded a still-startling confession.  Click here to read the Hollywood Reporter story.

Don't miss out

If you enjoy these Movie Memories updates, here's your chance to get some bonus issues every month.  Almost daily, there's something going on in the movie industry that catches my eye and inspires a comment or two.

Or sometimes, it's just a notable event that you might not want to miss, like today's item about Gene Wilder's 80th birthday (See below).

There are two easy ways not to miss out.  Look up to the right on this Movie Memories Update page and you'll see "Join our email list" just under the Movie Memories logo.  Enter your email address and click the "Go" button and you won't miss a thing.  And we promise not to sell your email address to the Chinese government.

And/or, if you have a Facebook account, please click on the "Like" button in the white square just under the "Find us on Facebook" title.  It's not that we need the praise, but we live in a society where it's important to be "Liked" on Facebook.

Now, sit back and enjoy some dynamite outtakes from the Mel Brooks classic comedy "Young Frankenstein."  It's the least we call all do to celebrate Gene Wilder's birthday.

If you bump into Jerome Silberman today (June 11), wish him a happy birthday for me and comedy lovers around the world.  We know Jerome a little better as Gene Wilder.

Hold onto something, Mel Brooks' go-to funny guy in "Blazing Saddles" and "Young Frankenstein" ("That's Frank-en-steen!") turns the big 8-0 today.  Check out this tremendous reel of bloopers from "Young Frankenstein" that's posted on You Tube.  As an added treat, listen to the genius man himself, Mel Brooks, say "Action" and "Cut."  

 

I wonder who's Kissinger now?

"Above the Law"? It looks like former action star Steven Seagal might be promoting the Russian arms race. (Courtesy: sky.com)

Henry Kissinger, where art thou?

I suppose at the age of 90, Henry Kissinger, Secretary of State for both Richard Nixon and Gerald Ford and the Nobel Peace Prize winner who negotiated a settlement of the Vietnam War, is probably not available to whip this country's international affairs in shape.

That's a shame because you'll never guess who it's come down to:  An aging actor (of sorts) and a pierced, tattooed. over-the-hill athlete.

Dennis Rodman in North Korea in February, where he's apparently applauding the fact that Supreme Leader Kim Jong Un "once caught a fish this big." (Courtesy: cnn.com)

You've probably heard about Dennis Rodman's trip to North Korea in February.  He posed with Kim Jong Un, North Korea's Supreme Leader and Chief Rocket Launcher.  They took in a basketball game or two, posed with the masses and sipped bubbly at dinnertime.

Rodman returned to the U.S., saying something like he'd worked out all the tension between this country and North Korea.  The words had barely passed Rodman's pierced lips when North Korea's youngun -- sorry, Jong Un -- aimed his rockets at the U.S. and Austin specifically.  I'm thinking the new supreme leader failed to get an invitation to Austin's South By Southwest Film Festival, which can be a tough ticket to snag.  (This has yet to be confirmed, but I'm pretty darn sure that's what happened.)

Now, there's even bigger trouble looming on the volatile international scene.

Russia, it seems, has decided that fading Hollywood action star Stevan Seagal, who once hinted to me that he was, or had, worked in U.S. intelligence  ("I can't talk about it.  It's that secret," he said over lunch at the time.), is the perfect guy to be the -- And I am not making this up -- "face of a new campaign to promote Russian weapons."

That's right.  According to published reports, like this one posted on sky.com, "the 61-year-old American appears to be the unlikely choice to boost the
country's arms sales as it makes a push to be the world's number one
exporter.

"Seagal accompanied Deputy Prime Minister Dmitry Rogozin to the Degtyarev gun manufacturing plant in Kovrov earlier.

"According to Russian news agencies, Mr. Rogozin said the actor may head up an international marketing campaign for the factory.

"He said: 'You're ready to fight American (manufacturers) with your teeth and
your intellect, and if Americans are prepared to promote and support you, that says we're learning new ways to work on corporate warfare markets,'" the Sky.com article states.

One of my favorite phrases is, "Well, the world has still not gotten crazy enough for me."

I admit, though, with this news it's edging plenty close.

Oh brother, Henry Kissinger, where art thou?

Go ahead, make Clint's birthday

If you need some inspiration to put a little pep in your step, consider this.

Near-legendary actor, director, composer and producer Clint Eastwood, who, yes, occasionally likes to chat with an empty piece of furniture before a TV audience of millions at a national political convention, turns 83 today.

What's Eastwood up to on this momentous day, you ask:  Sitting at home softly plunking keys on the piano?  Perhaps hitting the links for a little golf?  Or maybe just relaxing, contemplating his early acting roles as Jonesey in the talking-mule movie "Francis in the Navy" (1955) or his 216 episodes as feisty Rowdy Yates on the TV Western "Rawhide" from 1959 to the mid-'60s.

If you believe any of that, you rank right up there with that empty chair at last year's Republican National Convention.

Eastwood, you see, is -- as usual -- juggling future movie projects.  According to published reports, the filmmaker with the squinty eyes and low, raspy voice has put his remake of "A Star Is Born" on the back burner.

It looks like Eastwood, last in the director's chair guiding Leonardo DiCaprio through "J. Edgar" in 2011, has his late-season career sights set on Frankie Valli and the Four Seasons in a big-screen adaptation of the Broadway hit musical "Jersey Boys."

"Multiple sources tell The Hollywood Reporter that Eastwood is in talks with production entity GK Films and Warner Bros. to take on the high-profile project, though neither the studio nor the production company or Eastwood's reps would confirm the negotiations," a Hollywood Reporter article states.

Maybe Eastwood will celebrate his 83rd birthday with a little sip of sherry to pay homage to the Four Seasons' first No. 1 hit in 1962 and perhaps Clint's next as a filmmaker.  Happy Birthday, Mr. Eastwood, and bottoms up!

 

 Brookhaven, you're all class

Thanks to DeBorah Whaley-Stephenson and all the fine folks over at Dallas' Brookhaven College for including my "Five Decades, Five Great Movie Classics" film appreciation continuing education class in their Students 50+ Education Program spring semester.

The students were all attentive and appreciative as we watched and discussed five classic films on five consecutive Thursdays in May.

We called it a wrap yesterday (May 30) with cookies and immersing ourselves with a screen full of a very young looking Jack Nicholson sparring verbally with Faye Dunaway and a grandfatherly, yet evil John Huston in "Chinatown," circa 1974.

Thanks, students, for being a terrific class.  I'm looking forward to seeing everyone (and more) for my upcoming fall semester class, a look at classic films either about Texas, shot in Texas or starring Texas-based actors.  Let's fill up the classroom for that one.

 

(Clint Eastwood photo courtesy:  google.com/Eastwood and chair photo courtesy:  wheelercentre.com)

Those other Cannes Cannes girls

It's oh-so ordinary for flashy starlets and would-be ingenue hopefuls to flock to the South of France to share the limelight of the Cannes Film Festival, which cranks up the projectors May 15 and unspools celluloid through May 26.

But, according to a Hollywood Reporter article by Dana Kennedy, call girls flock to Cannes during the festival in hopes of making what the article predicts may be as high as $40,000 a night.  (Quick, how many euros is that?)

"'We all look forward to it,' says a local prostitute in Cannes who goes by the name of Daisy on her website but declined to give her surname. Daisy is one of many independent escorts who have their own websites and usually avoid going to hotels and bars -- except during the festival. 'There's a lot of competition because there are so many girls, but the local ones have an advantage. We know the hotel concierges.'

"The local prostitutes, says Daisy, routinely drop cash off with concierges at the town's top hotels. In return, if they are lucky, concierges sometimes steer clients their way. During the 10-day festival, an estimated 100 to 200 hookers stroll in and out of the big hotels every day, according to hotel sources," states the Hollywood Reporter article.

That's not the Cannes Film Festival I remember from 2005.  I recall working almost around the clock to attend screenings and world premieres and attending press conferences where filmmakers and stars converged to talk about their latest project.

That included extraordinary actor Tommy Lee Jones that year.  Jones, who took the top acting award during his visit, enjoyed what might have been a career humbling highlight when his gritty Texas-set crime-drama "The Three Burials of Melquiades Estrada" (starring Jones, Barry Pepper and January Jones) earned a 7-minute standing ovation following its world premiere.

Maybe because working film critic slugs like me didn't have the time, money or inkling to hang out in the palatial top-dollar (top-euro?) hotels, I didn't notice a swarm of girls with, let's say, monetary aspirations in mind.

Here's what I do remember.  Once I felt confident enough with my broken French to order food, I stopped off at a sidewalk bistro for lunch.  I was feeling pretty proud of myself for ordering in French as I gazed out at the busy, frenzied even, people strolling the streets of Cannes.

My pepperoni pizza arrived with one slight language barrier problem:

There was a fried egg nesting right in the middle of it.

On well, c'est la vie.

I think that means "that's life," but you might not want to take my word for it.

(Image courtesy:  nbcdfw.com)