We Might As Well Laugh

The first time I was on the cusp of becoming a senior I was anxious and one year away from finishing my high school education.  College and my quest to conquer the world paved the road ahead with all kinds of wild, exciting possibilities; fame, fortune, wooing Ms. Right, etc.

Something was different back then, although I didn't realize it at the time.  I could read the labels on medicine bottles.

Now, a few decades later, after initially kicking and resisting, I find myself no longer fighting the indisputable fact that I'm the other kind of senior, as in senior citizen. 

I've given up on chasing fame and fortune.  I've even found Ms. Right.  But some pesky problems still remain.

No matter how hard I try, no matter what devices I use, I CANNOT READ THE FINE-PRINT LABELS ON MEDICINE BOTTLES!  It's a conspiracy, I tell you, and the only thing we can do about it and other bumps in the Road of Enjoyment at this stage of life is this:

We might as well laugh.

So, that's what we'll do in my stand-up comedy routine lasting 45 minutes to an hour.

There will be only a few movie clips in this presentation.  It's mostly just a healthy dose of hardy laughs about life, loves, missed opportunities and, of course, the constant desire to offer desperately needed advice to the younger generation like ...

"Pull up your pants!"

For availability and speaking fees, call 972-596-9157 or email [email protected].

(Microphone image courtesy:  NickShell.com)

If I'm lion, you dirty rats are dyin'

Must-have items on today's shopping list:  Blue Bell Homemade Vanilla ice cream (half gallon now only $8.99!), a big ol' bag of Halloween candy and mountain lion urine.

What, you're shocked?

Courtesy: wildlifecontrolsupplies.com

Me, too.  I can remember when a half gallon of Blue Bell was $2.99, or on sale for 3-for-$5.  That's at least a dollar less than what they're getting for a pint now.  If my math is right, there are four pints in a half gallon.  Shouldn't a pint be about $2.25?  Of course not.  That would make too much sense, and, apparently, way too little cents.

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What, that's not what shocked you?  Must be the Halloween candy.  The best bargain in town this week has to be leftover Halloween candy.  One of those giant gut-buster bags of bite-sized morsels such as BabyRuths, Whoppers, KitKats and Butterfingers, my personal favorite, are marked down to half-price now.  That means only 25 or 30 bucks a bag.