Movie Memories

'Beauty' and the bean counters

Belle (Emma Watson) and the Beast (Dan Stevens) trip the candlelight fantastic. (Courtesy: www.digitalspy.com)

We probably shouldn't scold the Disney Studio or its bean counters too severely for rolling out a live-action remake of Beauty and the Beast, the Mouse House's animated golden oldie that swept up a boffo $425 million worldwide in 1991.

Disney has been raiding its own vault of animated treasures for years; Alice in Wonderland (2010), Cinderella (2015), The Jungle Book (2016) with Dumbo and Mulan on the way next year.  That, folks, is why they call it show business with the emphasis clearly on the second word.

And the Oscar goes to ... chaos!

Faye Dunaway and Warren Beatty fumble through the not-so-grand Oscar finale. (Courtesy: www.google.com)

See, this is what happens when you trust Bonnie and Clyde to hand out the Best Picture award at the Academy Awards.

The only thing I can think of that would have been more bizarre would be if Warren Beatty, looking totally confused and lost (for good reason, it turns out) had said, "We're Bonnie and Clyde.  We rob ballots!"

In case you missed it, the 89th Academy Awards telecast was putt-putting along fairly smoothly Sunday night until, of all things, the all-important finale.

Lights, camera, be funny NOW!

Robert De Niro as "The Comedian" (Courtesy: imdb.com)

Robert De Niro, Tom Hanks, Dustin Hoffman or Julie Kavner haven't called lately.

But if they did, or do (Come on, what would it hurt?), I would ask them all the same question:  "What the heck were you thinking when you signed on the dotted line to play a stand-up comedian in a movie?

Why couldn't they pull it off?

Here's the short answer:

They aren't comedians.  They're actors.

Shall I expand a little?

Founders keepers? Not so fast McDonald's

Michael Keaton as Ray Kroc in "The Founder" (Courtesy: IMDB.com)

Do you want lies with that?

You'll get plenty -- supersized, in fact -- in the compelling Ray Kroc biopic The Founder.

Michael Keaton shines as brightly as McDonald's iconic golden arches in this blistering tale of deceit, egomania and franchised burgers.

Let's put it this way.  When it comes to how McDonald's erupted into a worldwide empire from humble beginnings in California, the secrets weren't just in the sauce.

Blah Blah Land

Meryl Streep at the Golden Globe Awards (Courtesy: businessinsider.com)

“A dreamer is one who can only find his way by moonlight, and his punishment is that he sees the dawn before the rest of the world.”
– Oscar Wilde

I had a wild dream last night; one of those where you wake up fretting and sweating a little and the tangled covers serve as evidence of much tossing and turning.

The late iconic film critic Roger Ebert was standing at the podium at some grand hall.  Roger was introducing me as recipient of the Golden Globes Lifetime Achievement Award for my long list of film criticism awards and accomplishments.

OK, let's take a break.  Rule No. 1:  Please remember, this was a dream.  No. 2:  No giggling.

That's all write, Mama

(Courtesy: www.etsy.com)

Bonnie Ratliff, my mother, was quiet and reserved unless wronged or riled.  She was also an excellent, creative cook who could sling a mean hash and make a plain cake so special I can still taste it quite a few  years after we lost her.

We never called her Mom, and I'm not sure why.  That being said, Mother made too many sacrifices for me to count as my older brother and I spent our formative years in the noisy, engine-revving, windows rattling shadows of an aircraft plant in Grand Prairie, Texas.

Three major things Mother did for me, though, changed my life and greatly influenced who I am, what I am today.  No, make that four.  There's the whole birth thing, you know.

Supermoon 'Melancholia'

Courtesy: ChicagoTribune.com

I got my love for the movies from my Mom and my fascination at gazing at the moon from my Dad.

Here's hoping those two wondrous worlds don't collide, literally, when the biggest, brightest supermoon since 1948 passes closer to Earth than it has in 69 years tonight (Monday, Nov. 14).

I was a toddler in my Mom's arms, no doubt, when the last supermoon this exciting came calling.  I will be 87 if I'm around (and still pounding this computer keyboard) when it happens again on Nov. 25, 2034.

Will we even have computers then?  Will Mother Earth still be inhabitable then?  Will we all have our student loans paid off by then?  Who knows?

Coming attraction: The Movie Memories Film Fest

"Young @ Heart" (Courtesy: imdb.com)

Remember movies?

You know, the good ones.

The ones that moved you so much that you didn't just suggest to friends and family that they go see them, but the ones so good you actually gathered up a carload and took them to the movie house yourself just to see the look on their faces when something that can only be described as magical unfolded on screen.

The presidential debate: About 'Face'

Andy Griffith as "Lonesome" Rhodes in "A Face in the Crowd." (Courtesy: www.washtimes.com)

So what does a film critic, humorist, public speaker and author who likes to kid around a bit know about presidential politics?

Not much, really, and what I do know I prefer to keep to myself.  It's not that I'm that private. I'm also not the dumbest dangling chad in the pile of discarded ballots.  I'm in business here and just don't choose to alienate half of my potential speaking audience by hopping up on a personal political soapbox.

So why am I even writing this?

Blood, guts and, uh, bluegrass?

Faye Dunaway and Warren Beatty in "Bonnie and Clyde." (Courtesy: google.com)

I was honored to speak to a group in Dallas last week about movies shot in and around Dallas.

I always come away from The Movie Memories presentation "Lights, Camera, Dallas!" with the music from Bonnie and Clyde bouncing around in my head.  Arthur Penn's 1967 action-crime thriller showcased Warren Beatty and Faye Dunaway as the notorious outlaw duo that terrorized North Texas and surrounding states in the early 1930s.

Really scary scare movies are scarce

Mary Elizabeth Winstead and John Goodman bunker down in "10 Cloverfield Lane." (https://media3.popstar-assets.com)

I've always admired the work of excellent character actor and sometimes leading man John Goodman. 

Although I've gone out of my way for about 35 years to never act like a movie fan boy, especially while in the presence of film stars I was interviewing, I've always felt a fondness for Goodman, and the reason goes back decades.

Missing me some truly funny guys

Gene Wilder and Peter Boyle in "Young Frankenstein." (Courtesy: www4.pictures.zimbio.com)

Think about it for a second.

Someone points a finger at you and requests/hopes/demands that you be funny right now.

Not just a little funny, but world-class funny.

Gene Wilder, who we lost in the past few days, and Peter Boyle, gone 10 years in December, were two of the funniest humans of their generation.  If you think that's easy, try it.

Cinematically presential: Take 1 -- Vote for Dave?

(Courtesy: media7.com)

Sometimes, and quite frequently this presidential election cycle, I wish politics we see in the movies were real and real-life politics were fictional. 

Or more fictional.

No, make that less fictional, but still something to view simply as entertainment.  There I go again, writing myself into a corner I can't write out of.  But I think you know what I mean.  Not something entertaining, yet serious and, for lack of a better phrase, something we can just get up and walk away from.

Like the incredibly entertaining movie Dave of 1993, for instance.  Kevin Kline, a gifted and all-too-often underrated actor, plays Dave Kovic, a fun-loving temp agency owner who just happens to bear a striking resemblance to U.S. President Bill Mitchell (also portrayed by Kline).

Mother of mercy, is this the end of Milk Duds?

(Courtesy: google.com)

The temperature was pushing triple digits as I drove across town around noon, weaving in and out of traffic, heading for the local movie art house.

It was hot enough to fry an egg on a shrinking block of melting ice, but I didn't care.  I had one thing on my mind:

Milk Duds.

We go back a long way, those unfortunately colored morsels of caramel covered in light-brown chocolate.  I grabbed a box of Duds on my way into the darkened abyss of a Harlingen, Texas movie theater to review my first film as a professional critic in 1980.

Jones: A career reborn in 'Bourne'

Tommy Lee Jones in "Jason Bourne." (Courtesy: www.google.com)

It's good to see Tommy Lee Jones back on the big screen in a big way in Jason Bourne.

San Antonio's resident Academy Award winner (The Fugitive, 1993) stars opposite Matt Damon's title character as CIA Director Robert Dewey in the fifth installment of the Bourne action-spy-thrillers.

Hail to and from the cinematic chiefs

(Courtesy: google.com)

As the 2016 presidential season heats up, or boils over as some have already suggested, I like to summon up my source of presidential history and, in many cases, harrumphing.

That would be the movies, my friends, our little semi-reality and/or escape from same known as fiction.

Or in the case of movies "based on true events," fiction.

Flags of our great grandfathers and grandmothers

I make no apologies for star-spangled banter when it comes to Independence Day.

So, proudly fly the U.S. flag, thump an ice-cold watermelon, crank some homemade ice cream and get the family together, it's the Fourth of July weekend, time to celebrate this great country of ours.

Is the Casa Blanca a movie theater or bowling alley?

Actually, it's both.

(Courtesy: Santikos Entertainment)

The Casa Blanca, opening today (June 9), is the latest sparkling jewel in the impressive San Antonio-based Santikos Entertainment group.

On those days or evenings when you just can't decide if you want to catch a movie on a state-of-the-art laser projected digital screen or go bowling, now you can do both.  Or either, or both and have dinner at the Café, or have dinner while enjoying a movie in one of four Bistro theaters, or ... well, you get the idea.

Guess what turns 83 today? Happy Birthday drive-in movies!

(Courtesy: www.movies.com)

And I bet the popcorn was rubbery and cold that first night in Camden, N.J. back on June 6, 1933.

That's when Richard Hollingshead Jr., an auto parts salesman, invented the drive-in movie by putting a projector on the hood of a car and parking it in front of two bedsheets tied together and strung up in the yard.

Cannes 2016: Woody, could he, did he?

Kristen Stewart, left, Woody Allen and Blake Lively draw quite a crowd at the Cannes Film Festival. (Courtesy: www.wsfa.com)

After more than 35 years sitting down with world-famous movie actors, you know, cinematic royalty, if you will, people often ask me if I am nervous or awed in their presence.

Absolutely not!  Except twice.