Movie Memories

What ice cream addiction? Or 'Hey buddy, can you spare a spoon?'

True confession time:

When it comes to entertainment, the only thing I love more than movies in general are movies that make me laugh.  Really laugh!  Films like the Mel Brooks' masterpiece monster mash comedy Young Frankenstein (1974), Dr. Strangelove or:  How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Bomb (1964) and the first Toy Story (1995).  Movies like that.

The only thing I love more than movies that make me laugh is making people laugh through my stand-up comedy routine We Might As Well Laugh.

You must, you will remember this

Bottled-up sorrow: Rick (Humphrey Bogart) drowning in despair. (Courtesy: www.google.com)

I don't remember the first time I saw Casablanca, the mesmerizing romantic World War II drama classic starring Humphrey Bogart, Ingrid Bergman and Paul Henreid, but I remember the best.

It was in the mid-1970s.  If you wanted to see a movie back then you pretty much had to go to a movie house.  There was no Internet.  No cellphones.  No movies on demand on your Wi-Fi-connected TV.  Social media in a time that now seems locked in a galaxy far, far away meant chatting about a movie on the way home.

Cinematic genealogy: Popcorn in the family tree

Courtesy: google.com

I have very little interest in scampering out and back on every branch of the family tree to discover if I might be a direct descendant of royalty, a great writer from centuries past or, gasp!, rodents (the name Ratliff, you see).  I'm much more interested in getting to the root of my love and appreciation for movies.

It's deep-seated, but where did it come from?

I only have to look back one generation to find out all I need to know.  My mom and dad both loved movies.  I can remember my dad telling the story (over and over, actually) about falling asleep in the Hico (Texas) Theater and waking up in the dark to two startling discoveries:  The movie had ended some time ago and everyone was long gone and that he was locked in.

'Tomb' raiding, off-the-cuff fisticuffs & dishing Hollywood dirt

Angelina Jolie doing some tomb raiding as Lara Croft. (Courtesy: imdb.com)

It was early June, 2001, a full three months before terrorists attacked the U.S. and put a somber face on this country and much of the free world that has yet to relax even a little.

It was a happier time, a time when a film critic could say silly things about silly movies and even to its star.  No harm would be done and everyone could have a laugh or two.

Such was the case when Angelina Jolie took on the title role as muscle flexing, tough-as-nails video game sensation Lara Croft in the feature film version of Lara Croft:  Tomb Raider.

'Beauty' and the bean counters

Belle (Emma Watson) and the Beast (Dan Stevens) trip the candlelight fantastic. (Courtesy: www.digitalspy.com)

We probably shouldn't scold the Disney Studio or its bean counters too severely for rolling out a live-action remake of Beauty and the Beast, the Mouse House's animated golden oldie that swept up a boffo $425 million worldwide in 1991.

Disney has been raiding its own vault of animated treasures for years; Alice in Wonderland (2010), Cinderella (2015), The Jungle Book (2016) with Dumbo and Mulan on the way next year.  That, folks, is why they call it show business with the emphasis clearly on the second word.

And the Oscar goes to ... chaos!

Faye Dunaway and Warren Beatty fumble through the not-so-grand Oscar finale. (Courtesy: www.google.com)

See, this is what happens when you trust Bonnie and Clyde to hand out the Best Picture award at the Academy Awards.

The only thing I can think of that would have been more bizarre would be if Warren Beatty, looking totally confused and lost (for good reason, it turns out) had said, "We're Bonnie and Clyde.  We rob ballots!"

In case you missed it, the 89th Academy Awards telecast was putt-putting along fairly smoothly Sunday night until, of all things, the all-important finale.

Lights, camera, be funny NOW!

Robert De Niro as "The Comedian" (Courtesy: imdb.com)

Robert De Niro, Tom Hanks, Dustin Hoffman or Julie Kavner haven't called lately.

But if they did, or do (Come on, what would it hurt?), I would ask them all the same question:  "What the heck were you thinking when you signed on the dotted line to play a stand-up comedian in a movie?

Why couldn't they pull it off?

Here's the short answer:

They aren't comedians.  They're actors.

Shall I expand a little?

Founders keepers? Not so fast McDonald's

Michael Keaton as Ray Kroc in "The Founder" (Courtesy: IMDB.com)

Do you want lies with that?

You'll get plenty -- supersized, in fact -- in the compelling Ray Kroc biopic The Founder.

Michael Keaton shines as brightly as McDonald's iconic golden arches in this blistering tale of deceit, egomania and franchised burgers.

Let's put it this way.  When it comes to how McDonald's erupted into a worldwide empire from humble beginnings in California, the secrets weren't just in the sauce.

Blah Blah Land

Meryl Streep at the Golden Globe Awards (Courtesy: businessinsider.com)

“A dreamer is one who can only find his way by moonlight, and his punishment is that he sees the dawn before the rest of the world.”
– Oscar Wilde

I had a wild dream last night; one of those where you wake up fretting and sweating a little and the tangled covers serve as evidence of much tossing and turning.

The late iconic film critic Roger Ebert was standing at the podium at some grand hall.  Roger was introducing me as recipient of the Golden Globes Lifetime Achievement Award for my long list of film criticism awards and accomplishments.

OK, let's take a break.  Rule No. 1:  Please remember, this was a dream.  No. 2:  No giggling.

That's all write, Mama

(Courtesy: www.etsy.com)

Bonnie Ratliff, my mother, was quiet and reserved unless wronged or riled.  She was also an excellent, creative cook who could sling a mean hash and make a plain cake so special I can still taste it quite a few  years after we lost her.

We never called her Mom, and I'm not sure why.  That being said, Mother made too many sacrifices for me to count as my older brother and I spent our formative years in the noisy, engine-revving, windows rattling shadows of an aircraft plant in Grand Prairie, Texas.

Three major things Mother did for me, though, changed my life and greatly influenced who I am, what I am today.  No, make that four.  There's the whole birth thing, you know.

Supermoon 'Melancholia'

Courtesy: ChicagoTribune.com

I got my love for the movies from my Mom and my fascination at gazing at the moon from my Dad.

Here's hoping those two wondrous worlds don't collide, literally, when the biggest, brightest supermoon since 1948 passes closer to Earth than it has in 69 years tonight (Monday, Nov. 14).

I was a toddler in my Mom's arms, no doubt, when the last supermoon this exciting came calling.  I will be 87 if I'm around (and still pounding this computer keyboard) when it happens again on Nov. 25, 2034.

Will we even have computers then?  Will Mother Earth still be inhabitable then?  Will we all have our student loans paid off by then?  Who knows?

Coming attraction: The Movie Memories Film Fest

"Young @ Heart" (Courtesy: imdb.com)

Remember movies?

You know, the good ones.

The ones that moved you so much that you didn't just suggest to friends and family that they go see them, but the ones so good you actually gathered up a carload and took them to the movie house yourself just to see the look on their faces when something that can only be described as magical unfolded on screen.

The presidential debate: About 'Face'

Andy Griffith as "Lonesome" Rhodes in "A Face in the Crowd." (Courtesy: www.washtimes.com)

So what does a film critic, humorist, public speaker and author who likes to kid around a bit know about presidential politics?

Not much, really, and what I do know I prefer to keep to myself.  It's not that I'm that private. I'm also not the dumbest dangling chad in the pile of discarded ballots.  I'm in business here and just don't choose to alienate half of my potential speaking audience by hopping up on a personal political soapbox.

So why am I even writing this?

Blood, guts and, uh, bluegrass?

Faye Dunaway and Warren Beatty in "Bonnie and Clyde." (Courtesy: google.com)

I was honored to speak to a group in Dallas last week about movies shot in and around Dallas.

I always come away from The Movie Memories presentation "Lights, Camera, Dallas!" with the music from Bonnie and Clyde bouncing around in my head.  Arthur Penn's 1967 action-crime thriller showcased Warren Beatty and Faye Dunaway as the notorious outlaw duo that terrorized North Texas and surrounding states in the early 1930s.

Really scary scare movies are scarce

Mary Elizabeth Winstead and John Goodman bunker down in "10 Cloverfield Lane." (https://media3.popstar-assets.com)

I've always admired the work of excellent character actor and sometimes leading man John Goodman. 

Although I've gone out of my way for about 35 years to never act like a movie fan boy, especially while in the presence of film stars I was interviewing, I've always felt a fondness for Goodman, and the reason goes back decades.

Missing me some truly funny guys

Gene Wilder and Peter Boyle in "Young Frankenstein." (Courtesy: www4.pictures.zimbio.com)

Think about it for a second.

Someone points a finger at you and requests/hopes/demands that you be funny right now.

Not just a little funny, but world-class funny.

Gene Wilder, who we lost in the past few days, and Peter Boyle, gone 10 years in December, were two of the funniest humans of their generation.  If you think that's easy, try it.

Cinematically presential: Take 1 -- Vote for Dave?

(Courtesy: media7.com)

Sometimes, and quite frequently this presidential election cycle, I wish politics we see in the movies were real and real-life politics were fictional. 

Or more fictional.

No, make that less fictional, but still something to view simply as entertainment.  There I go again, writing myself into a corner I can't write out of.  But I think you know what I mean.  Not something entertaining, yet serious and, for lack of a better phrase, something we can just get up and walk away from.

Like the incredibly entertaining movie Dave of 1993, for instance.  Kevin Kline, a gifted and all-too-often underrated actor, plays Dave Kovic, a fun-loving temp agency owner who just happens to bear a striking resemblance to U.S. President Bill Mitchell (also portrayed by Kline).

Mother of mercy, is this the end of Milk Duds?

(Courtesy: google.com)

The temperature was pushing triple digits as I drove across town around noon, weaving in and out of traffic, heading for the local movie art house.

It was hot enough to fry an egg on a shrinking block of melting ice, but I didn't care.  I had one thing on my mind:

Milk Duds.

We go back a long way, those unfortunately colored morsels of caramel covered in light-brown chocolate.  I grabbed a box of Duds on my way into the darkened abyss of a Harlingen, Texas movie theater to review my first film as a professional critic in 1980.

Jones: A career reborn in 'Bourne'

Tommy Lee Jones in "Jason Bourne." (Courtesy: www.google.com)

It's good to see Tommy Lee Jones back on the big screen in a big way in Jason Bourne.

San Antonio's resident Academy Award winner (The Fugitive, 1993) stars opposite Matt Damon's title character as CIA Director Robert Dewey in the fifth installment of the Bourne action-spy-thrillers.

Hail to and from the cinematic chiefs

(Courtesy: google.com)

As the 2016 presidential season heats up, or boils over as some have already suggested, I like to summon up my source of presidential history and, in many cases, harrumphing.

That would be the movies, my friends, our little semi-reality and/or escape from same known as fiction.

Or in the case of movies "based on true events," fiction.