Movie Memories

If I'm lion, you dirty rats are dyin'

Must-have items on today's shopping list: Blue Bell Homemade Vanilla ice cream (half gallon now only $8.99!), a big ol' bag of Halloween candy and mountain lion urine. What, you're shocked? Courtesy: wildlifecontrolsupplies.com Me, too. I can remember when a half gallon of Blue Bell was $2.99, or on sale for 3-for-$5. That's at least a dollar less than what they're getting for a pint now. If my math is right, there are four pints in a half gallon. Shouldn't a pint be about $2.25? Of course not. That would make too much sense, and, apparently, way too little cents.... Read more

Jim, beam me up

Big news!

Movie Memories with Larry Ratliff has gone VIRTUAL!

If your group, corporate gathering, 50-plus community, retirement facility or club is looking for a virtual presentation that's informative and fun, virtual Movie Memories presentations "Life Lessons I've Learned at the Movies" and "Romantic Comedies of the 1990s and 2000s" are just the thing to take our minds off the restrictions of the COVID-19 pandemic.

Coming attraction -- A virtual me

CUE ANNOUNCER: "Virtual, from Dallas, Texas, it's Movie Memories With Larry Ratliff!"

Due to the COVID-19 pandemic, we have two problems here: One, I can't travel to your facility, corporate meeting or office function to perform my Movie Memories With Larry Ratliff presentations due to lock-downs, social distancing and such.  And two, your facility residents, meeting guests and office staff would really like something like Movie Memories With Larry Ratliff to entertain, inform and put a smile on everyone's faces.

Mic and me: It's a date

(Courtesy: Backdoor Comedy club)

There are scarier things you can do than take the stage of a comedy club for the first time and try to make paying customers laugh.  I just can't think of any right now.

Open Mic Night.  Call it the longest three minutes in show business; an eternity for some, a breeze for the gifted few.  All the great ones started this way somewhere.  One-liners and stories running through their minds over and over or scribbled on notepads as they nervously await their turn.

'Wait, you ran out of what?"

Here's looking at you, kid.

In all the excitement of Wednesday's worst Christmas meal ever, I forgot that legendary Humphrey Bogart was born on Dec. 25 in 1899.

And I'm thinking so was the turkey on the so-called turkey and dressing dinner at a Plano, Texas restaurant where the temperature had to be at least 85 degrees inside and the advertised turkey and dressing and cranberry sauce and mashed potatoes plate arrived at the table sans cranberry sauce.

Time, more or less, has come today

While most people around much of the world and in the United States, except for Arizona and Hawaii, got an extra hour of sleep last night, I was up at 5 a.m.  Or was it 4?

Scooter, my 16-year-old dachshund (wiener dog to most) had to, uh, dash for the backdoor to do some serious business in the backyard.

Scootie, lovable, funny and loyal, knew exactly what time it was, and it had nothing to do with a clock.

But what about us humans?