Movie Memories

Jim, beam me up

Big news! Movie Memories with Larry Ratliff has gone VIRTUAL! If your group, corporate gathering, 50-plus community, retirement facility or club is looking for a virtual presentation that's informative and fun, virtual Movie Memories presentations "Life Lessons I've Learned at the Movies" and "Romantic Comedies of the 1990s and 2000s" are just the thing to take our minds off the restrictions of the COVID-19 pandemic. From the comfort of your own home or room, in many cases, discover the true magic of the movies. Go to the Movie Memories YouTube channel at https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCv8A8vC2oOh5RylLyt1n5Uw. Also, explore our website at www.LarryRatliff.com and... Read more

Coming attraction -- A virtual me

CUE ANNOUNCER: "Virtual, from Dallas, Texas, it's Movie Memories With Larry Ratliff!"

Due to the COVID-19 pandemic, we have two problems here: One, I can't travel to your facility, corporate meeting or office function to perform my Movie Memories With Larry Ratliff presentations due to lock-downs, social distancing and such.  And two, your facility residents, meeting guests and office staff would really like something like Movie Memories With Larry Ratliff to entertain, inform and put a smile on everyone's faces.

Mic and me: It's a date

(Courtesy: Backdoor Comedy club)

There are scarier things you can do than take the stage of a comedy club for the first time and try to make paying customers laugh.  I just can't think of any right now.

Open Mic Night.  Call it the longest three minutes in show business; an eternity for some, a breeze for the gifted few.  All the great ones started this way somewhere.  One-liners and stories running through their minds over and over or scribbled on notepads as they nervously await their turn.

'Wait, you ran out of what?"

Here's looking at you, kid.

In all the excitement of Wednesday's worst Christmas meal ever, I forgot that legendary Humphrey Bogart was born on Dec. 25 in 1899.

And I'm thinking so was the turkey on the so-called turkey and dressing dinner at a Plano, Texas restaurant where the temperature had to be at least 85 degrees inside and the advertised turkey and dressing and cranberry sauce and mashed potatoes plate arrived at the table sans cranberry sauce.

Time, more or less, has come today

While most people around much of the world and in the United States, except for Arizona and Hawaii, got an extra hour of sleep last night, I was up at 5 a.m.  Or was it 4?

Scooter, my 16-year-old dachshund (wiener dog to most) had to, uh, dash for the backdoor to do some serious business in the backyard.

Scootie, lovable, funny and loyal, knew exactly what time it was, and it had nothing to do with a clock.

But what about us humans?

What if obituaries had to be honest?

Honest obits might go something like this:

Myra Ruth Littleberg

Funeral arrangements for Myra Ruth Littleberg, 91, of Ithaca, New York, who passed May 1, 2019 while reading a book at home, are pending at Ike’s Nondenominational Funeral Emporium on Hickory Street.  Littleberg served as No. 2 Librarian for 25 years at the main Ithaca Library. She kept to herself, spoke in a whisper and was quick to “shush” loud talkers even outside the library.  While researching Littleberg’s quiet life at work and at home with her three cats (Purrcy, Cuddles and Twerk), this reporter discovered, and thus must report, that Littleberg previously worked for years as a topless dancer who called herself Babs at the Check These Out Gentleman’s Club, located way down the gravel road on the shore of Cayuga Lake.