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03/14/2011

A word to wise 'dummies' everywhere

Colon252r Unless you own or maintain a Web site and have hopes of helping to pay the rent via on-line ads, you may not be aware of this:

It's uncool, forbidden even, for a Web site owner to click on his or her own ads.

In fact, once you commit to placing ads on a site, an oath, of sorts, must be agreed to guaranteeing that the urge to click will be snuffed.

Just to show my dedication to the agreement, I signed mine in blood, which I don't recommend.  Pretty messy, that.

I won't lie to you.  It's a mental battle to refrain from checking out ads on your site.  The pittance one receives from Web site ads depend on the clicks.

So while I can't spend my day click-trotting from ad to ad across my Web pages, nothing forbids you from clicking in to take advantage of what I'm assured are fine, fine offers.

That doesn't mean I can't notice which ads are gracing my site, though.  At any given moment you're likely to see ads for Netflix, the latest movie, on-line universities and the like.

Lately, though, I've noticed an ad for the book "Colonoscopy for Dummies" and become, well, rather startled.

I endured my first colonoscopy last June.  In fact, feel free to click here to read, "A fine how do you doo," my account of the ordeal.

It went well and everything turned out fine.  But "Colonoscopy for Dummies"?

Actually, I'm a fan of the "Dummies" how-to books, which bear the slogan "Making Everything Easier!"  I have "Quicken 2010 for Dummies," "Publisher 2007 for Dummies" and "Excel 2000 for Windows for Dummies."

According to what's lurking on my bookshelves, I haven't felt the need to excel in over a decade.  Maybe I need to purchase "Let's Get Fired Up Again for Dummies."

Still, when it comes to a colonoscopy, I prefer to leave that to the highly trained professionals, thank you.

Now the good news:  As it turns out, "Colonoscopy for Dummies" does not detail how you can perform the delicate procedure yourself.  That would involve a tricky balance of mirrors and medical instruments that I don't even want to think about.

The book in the familiar yellow paperback format merely covers all the questions, fears and even prep for the actual colonoscopy, which, by the way, might just save your life.  So feel free to click on the ad if you see it pop up on one of my pages or anyone else's, for that matter.

And speaking of a colonoscopy, if your doctor suggests you get one, I encourage you to heed the advice.

When you go in for the consult, your physician will explain the procedure step-by-step.  Unless he pulls out his own copy of "Colonoscopy for Dummies" during the chat, I think you'll be fine.

("Colonoscopy for Dummies" photo courtesy:  Colonoscopyfordummies.com.)

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Well, of course now that you have the keywords "Colonoscopy" and "Dummies" on your page, the ad is appearing there as if on command. How cool is that?

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