Movie Reviews

Disney goes for the 'Sorcerer' sweep

Nicolas Cage showing off a little sorcery. (Walt Disney Pictures) 

The Sorcerer's Apprentice

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Running time: *** minutes

MPAA rating: PG (fantasy action violence, some mild rude humor and brief language)

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"The Sorcerer's Apprentice"

The film-making folks at Disney are quite comfortable poking around their own back lot for ideas.

They only had to look as far as one of their most popular amusement park rides to come up with the "Pirates of the Caribbean" franchise, which shows no signs of letting up as a box office cash cow.

Here we go again.  The Mouse House and director Jon Turteltaub slip us a Mickey with "The Sorcerer's Apprentice."  A Mickey Mouse, that is.

Nicolas Cage, Alfred Molina and Jay Baruchel head the cast in an ambitious live action sorcerer's yarn that pulsates with comic quips, CGI wizardry and, for lack of better words, fantasy high jinks.

It's all very loosely based on the "Sorcerer's Apprentice" segment of Walt Disney's creative ceiling-breaker "Fantasia" of 1937.  Mickey Mouse conjures up a runaway straw broom in that one.  The new version pays homage to the original with a contrived segment.

Know this:  "The Sorcerer's Apprentice," circa 2010 is  lively and fun comic-adventure.  And know this:  It's not because Turteltaub or some Disney exec felt the need to spotlight the broom (or, in this case, mop) segment.  Frankly, that part's pretty boring.

The rest isn't, though.  Cage, sporting a beleaguered look and rag-mop hair extensions, portrays Balthazar, a former apprentice to Merlin himself about a thousand years ago.  Flash forward to modern day Manhattan and Balthazar is continuing his search for a chosen one, of sorts, to carry on the fight against evil sorcerer Horvath (Alfred Molina).

Balthazar will need a protege, of course.  So young actor Jay Baruchel takes on Dave, an NYU physics major with no idea he's about to play a major role in attempting to save mankind from Horvath and evil sorceress Morgana (Alice Krige).  They're intent on raising the dead to wipe out the living.

With that as the driving force, it doesn't appear that this conglomeration of special effects and nonsense would amount to much fun.  It does, though.

Cage, who chooses roles badly at times ("Knowing," Bangkok Dangerous"), rolls up his sorcerer's sleeves and has the kind of acting blast we've grown familiar with in the "National Treasure" flicks.

Also, I really like the way Molina (the terrific British actor of "An Education" and the forgettable "Prince of Persia") injects frivolity into the villain of the piece.

If I were the jury, I'd still be out on Baruchel, though.  In his meatiest role yet, the guy who finally grabbed center stage with the recent "She's Out of My League," might just be out of his here.

For some reason, instead of conjuring up Mickey Mouse's determined demeanor as the sorcerer's apprentice, Baruchel channels Christian Slater and even Peter Falk's "Columbo" with a stammering, stuttering speech pattern.

Annoying, that.  But it can't smother the overall frolic appeal of what could be the next Disney franchise.

Ahoy, there.  Take that, you "Pirates."

'Airbender' has a rough Night

The only element Aang (Noah Ringer) can't control is the poor level of epic fantasy filmmaking.  (Paramount Pictures)

The Last Airbender

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Running time: 103 minutes

MPAA rating: PG (fantasy action violence)

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"The Last Airbender"

If "The Last Airbender" isn't the worst film of the year, the hokey compilation of cheesy kung-fu moves attached to special effects enhancements will certainly be one of the prominent artistic bottom-feeders.

Writer-director-producer M. Night Shyamalan began his career with a flourish.  "The Sixth Sense," especially, dazzled in 1999.  More recent efforts,  "The Village," "Lady in the Water" and "The Happening," pretty much fizzled.

"The Last Airbender," a would-be epic with the interest quotient of a slug taking a tongue bath, just baffles.

The hook in this fantasy yarn about a Fire Nation able to bully nations of air, water and Earth is that the prophesied Avatar (Dallas native Noah Ringer as Aang), an airbender who can control all the elements, has been absent for 100 years.

Boy wonder Aang arrives in an ice ball along with a gigantic furry creature and is quickly befriended by Katara (Nicola Peltz), a young waterbender, and her protective brother Sokka (Jackson Rathbone, also on screen as the vampire Jasper Hale in "Twilight:  Eclipse").

According to Shyamalan's adaptation of the Nickelodeon animated TV series "Avatar:  The Last Airbender," Aang ran away from Avatar training before he could fully master water, fire and earth bending.  The challenge here is to fend off the evil Fire Nation flame-throwers and avoid capture by Prince Zuko of the Fire Nation, who's not exactly feeling his daddy's love at the moment.

Aang may be a little behind on his element altering courses, but thanks to a laughable plot by Shyamalan, someone here is fully capable of halting time.  I've never seen just over an hour and a half feel like an eternity before.  Nothing much works here.  The special effects, while accomplished enough, only manage to perpetuate the silliness.

At least this film is being released in 3-D.  So if your child drags you to it, you might be able to nap behind the glasses without anyone noticing.

Ringer, the Dallas-based American taekwondo martial arts state champ, convinces as the young Avatar (no relation to James Cameron's epic wonder of the same name).  I just feel sorry for "Slumdog Millionaire" star Dev Patel, who made a poor follow-up film choice to play Prince Zuko.

Of course Shyamalan is the one who'll suffer most if this turkey bombs, which it should.

Unless something much more accomplished happens in the near future for the "Sixth Sense" filmmaker, I see a dead career.

Acting and other 'Twilight' things that bite

Bella (Kristen Stewart) and Edward (Robert Pattinson) are just a couple of crazy kids planning a blood-letting wedding.
(Summit Entertainment)

The Twilight Saga:  Eclipse  

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Running time: 121 minutes

MPAA rating: PG-13 ( intense sequences of action and violence, and some sensuality)

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"The Twilight Saga:  Eclipse"

Lines that are not in "The Twilight Saga:  Eclipse," but should be.

Edward Cullen, perpetual teen vampire:  "Wanna grab a quick bite after graduation?"

Bella Swan, pouting graduating senior virgin human two-timer who's constantly teasing a certain vampire and a certain perpetually shirtless werewolf:  "Yeah, and a cool one."

We might as well joke about "Eclipse," the third "Twilight" movie.  This monster-human romance series has continually morphed into a spoof of itself ever since filmmaker Catherine Hardwicke, a Texas native, left or was given the boot after the initial "Twilight" in 2008.

Hardwicke launched the teen-scream franchise with a decent enough teen vampire/civilian moody blue love story.

The franchise has gone down thrill ever since.

The acting is more stilted with each outing, even from capable Dakota Fanning in her second cameo in this one as Jane, a member of the Volturi (a vampire ruling group).

British director David Slade, who takes over the franchise with No. 3, made a real movie (with real dialogue, real drama and stuff) titled "Hard Candy" in 2005.  He followed-up with the eerie vampire monster mash "30 Days of Night" in 2007 and should have left his bloodsucking horror helming at that.

There's nowhere to go with the "Twilight" franchise, except to orchestrate the further slide down the slippery slope into a perfect storm of pop culture phenomenon, young teen girls with a crush on a dreamy big-screen, milk-faced imaginary boyfriend ("Oh, he bites?  Well, nobody's perfect.") and peer pressure to jump on the latest pop bandwagon.

In Episode 3, based on Stephenie Meyer's novel "Eclipse" and once again adapted by Melissa Rosenberg, the folks of Forks, WA are gearing up for high school graduation.  Bella (Kristen Stewart) isn't sending out invitations or applying to any colleges, though.

The forever glum "Twilight" ingénue spends her time sitting in a field of wildflowers discussing when she and 100-year-old teen vampire boyfriend Edward (Robert Pattinson) are going to "do it," which, of course, means to turn her into an immortal so they can live happily ever after and after and after.

Now this is shocking.  I mean, a vampire able to sit comfortably outside in broad daylight?  Who signed off on a complete disregard for vampire rules?  Is nothing sacred in schlocky monster-horror flicks anymore?

Putting that monumental problem aside for a second, nothing much of interest happens in the second "Twilight" sequel.  Edward and ab-noxious, muscle-flexing werewolf rival Jacob Black (decent actor Taylor Lautner) are forced to form an uneasy alliance, which is no big whoop.

A Newborn Army of blood-thirsty vampires is strolling down through the woods from Seattle to have a go at ripping Bella to shreds.   She has little time to worry about such things.  Bella has more pressing problems, like juggling bracelets given to her by each of her beast beaus.

The jugular will just have to wait until the next sequel.

That one should be titled, but isn't, "Twilight's Last Gleaming."

Trouble, any way you 'Splice' it

Dren (Delphine Chanéac) checks out her new surroundings.  (Warner Bros. Pictures)   

Splice 

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Running time: 103 minutes

MPAA rating: R (disturbing elements including strong sexuality, nudity, sci-fi violence and profanity)

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"Splice"

As creature features go, "Splice" spills blood on the intelligent end of the sci-fi/horror/thriller scale.

Highbrow or not, the fear factor pegs the red into mayhem when an unauthorized experiment mixing human and animal DNA bursts out of control like Frankenstein's monster stomping through the countryside after a jolt of captured lightning.  

Director/co-writer Vincenzo Natali is correct when he refers to "his baby" as a genetic Frankenstein monster movie.  The question is whether or not such a thing is worth our time and money.  The answer is yes, especially for those who enjoy slightly futuristic semi-possibility eeriness in the cinematic dark.

Note to unsuspecting movie-goers:  Know that things are bound to get messy in any sci-fi thriller story that begins with benign blobs.

Natali, who hit with the mystery sci-fi thriller "Cube" in 1997, probably wouldn't attract lead actors like Adrien Brody and Sarah Polley if "Splice" had little to offer as a jolt to both the gut and the brain.

Genetic engineers Clive Nicole (Brody) and Elsa Kast (Polley), a couple in and out of the lab coats, are the darlings of the scientific community.  And why shouldn't they be after creating the aforementioned DNA masses nicknamed Fred and Ginger.

When the public display turns into a cozy waltz, Clive and Elsa launch their own secret experiment to introduce human DNA into the mix.  As we'll all find out later, though, Fred and Ginger know more than one dance.

From this aisle seat, Brody, an Academy Award winner for "The Pianist" in 2003, and Polley, a double-threat as filmmaker ("Away From Her") and actress ("My Life Without Me"), don't spark a great deal of on-screen chemistry.

The story is so compelling, though, and oftentimes oddly goofy that it's no use fighting it when the creature Dren is "born" and begins to draw us into one of the creepiest creature-features in years.

Brody, of course, has taken on monsters with some degree of intelligence before.  He had a go with the big gorilla in the remake of "King Kong" in 2005.  As I recall, though, Brody's character was never approached romantically by the creature in that one.

"Splice" is more sophisticated in visual effects than you might expect from an indie picked up by a major movie studio (Warner Bros.).  Natali continues to impress as a filmmaker of the macabre.  The creature, which quickly matures from a gnarly glob to semi-sensual teen, then adult, is full of mutating surprises.

Without giving too much away, let's just say that Dren, portrayed in adult form by budding French actress Delphine Chanéac ("The Pink Panther" remake), is one wild mutating mama.

And that's barely the half of it.

'Prince' is a pauper compared to the masters

You call this a dagger?  Dastan (Jake Gyllenhaal) with the knife that can roll back time.  (Walt Disney Pictures)

Prince of Persia:

The Sands of Time

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Running time: 116 minutes

MPAA rating: PG-13 (intense sequences of violence and action)

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"Prince of Persia:

The Sands of Time"

Audiences settle for so much less at the movies these days.

By today's milquetoast standards, "Prince of Persia:  The Sands of Time" provides adequate action-adventure swashbuckling in the sands of 6th century Persia.  It's the wink-at-the-audience comic tone that pales in comparison to previous rollicking adventures, though.

For anyone who remembers "Raiders of the Lost Ark," the first Indiana Jones action, comedy and romance frolic of 1981, or perhaps the fun-filled soldier-of-fortune saga "Romancing the Stone" in 1984, a weakly imitation grown out of a video game compares rather poorly.

This is an era when so-so is often hyped into super-duper.  At least in this gimmicky tale (Come on, a dagger that can reverse time?) popcorn munchers in the dark are treated to above average acting, decent special effects and lead actors easy on the eyes.

Jake Gyllenhaal, an Oscar-nominated actor looking a little self-conscious about playing a joystick-driven hero, takes the title role.  A street urchin taken in by the king (ho-hum), Dastan (Gyllenhaal) follows his heart to do the right thing after storming a castle in the fictional holy city of Alamut and, quite by accident, mind you, stumbling upon the aforementioned magic dagger handed down by the gods.

The screenplay, bearing more hand prints than a newborn kitty in an orphanage, may be pedestrian.  But at least versatile British director Mike Newell ("Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire," "Mona Lisa Smile")  knows how to make the most out of what he's got.

And what he's got here is a one-dimensional, yet flashy yarn that moves fast.  In fact, it only slows down for alluring love/hate glances between Gyllenhaal and his ingénue, budding actress Gemma Arterton as "Come hither, no don't" princess Tamina.

To tell you the truth, I had more fun concentrating on the support players.  Oscar-winner Ben Kingsley (remember "Gandhi"?) looks like he's enjoying himself as sly, beloved Uncle Nizam.  And you can't help but like Alfred Molina ("An Education," "Spider-Man 2") as Sheik Amar, the devious, ostrich racing entrepreneur who'd probably be running Goldman Sachs if he could operate in today's market.

Gyllenhaal, on screen most recently in "Brothers," makes a better dashing sword-swinger than I thought he would.  That's because the rising star who drew his Oscar nomination opposite the late Heath Ledger in "Brokeback Mountain" ( 2005) makes the audience believe he is a prince with a heart of gold who'll use his back-to-the-future dagger for good, not evil.

Arterton, Agent Fields in the Bond adventure "Quantum of Solace," still has some work to do as the sometimes pouting woman hiding true grit until the right time to expose it.  It's an old formula that generally still works, though, and the two leads do stir up a little screen heat in the desert.

"Prince of Persia," no doubt the first in a sword-and-sandal franchise if it flexes muscles at the box-office, is adequate, if not extraordinary weekend movie entertainment.  It's got solid elements, just no spark to ignite something magical.

Since it comes from video game source material and doesn't thrill, amuse or tug the heartstrings like the previous masters, let's just call it a token effort and be done with it. 

'Shrek's' 'A Wonderful Life,' lousy sequel

Shrek (voiced by Mike Myers) and Fiona  (Cameron Diaz) in a new adventure.  (Paramount Pictures)

Shrek Forever After

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Running time: 93 minutes

MPAA rating: PG (mild action, some rude humor and brief language)

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"Shrek Forever After"

The new "Shrek" is a wreck, and not one that's interesting enough to slow down for.

What else should we possibly expect from a third sequel in a franchise that launched in 2001?

Let's face it ... again.  It's time to bid farewell to the lovable green ogre.

I know what you're thinking:  "Hey, it's Shrek.  My kids will love it."

Maybe.  Perhaps cinematic newbies born too late to enjoy "Shrek" in its prime will.  This one can be viewed from behind 3-D glasses, which only really matters for the opening sequence of white horses appearing to gallop off the screen and into the audience.

Once the horses and the carriage they're pulling have passed, however, the kids will be "enjoying" a blatant rehash of "It's a Wonderful Life," of all things.

In the fourth installment of the once creatively vibrant fairy tale set in a twisted land titled Far Far Away, our rotund hero is fighting the marital/parental blahs; a midlife crisis.  His triplet little ogres are annoying him more with every burp or other gas passing (sure to draw a shock laugh from the kiddies).

Soon after Shrek blows his top at the kids' first birthday party, Rumpelstiltskin (Walt Dohrn, a feature voice newcomer who's also in charge of the story) offers the big, green, disenchanted guy the same deal Clarence the angel-in-training sold to Jimmy Stewart in "It's a Wonderful Life."  

The details vary slightly, but suddenly Shrek never existed (just like Stewart's George Bailey).  Far Far Away is ravaged like Bedford Falls gone to hell.  Donkey (voiced vibrantly by Eddie Murphy as usual) has no idea who Shrek is.

What of Fiona (Cameron Diaz)?  A human damsel without her Shrek savior by day and ogre by night,  Fiona's leading the ogre resistance against the king (Rumpelstiltskin, of course) and the witches who protect him.

"Shrek Forever After," directed with lots of bluster but little spirit by Mike Mitchell ("Sky High," "Surviving Christmas"), is a sequel with such minuscule oomph that one of its main characters provides the tired metaphor.

Puss In Boots, the Zorro-like kitty voiced by Antonio Banderas, has grown fat and lazy (just like the franchise itself).  When Puss, which can barely right himself, begs Donkey to lend him a tongue to groom fur he can no longer reach, it's almost as if screenwriters Josh Klausner ("Date Night") and Darren Lemke (a feature film first-timer) are signaling us that they're throwing in the adventure towel.

That brings us to Mike Myers ("Austin Powers"), the former "Saturday Night Live" standout who has been at the microphone as Shrek for almost a dozen years now.

For whatever reason -- personal challenges (the death of his mentor father, a divorce) or maybe just due to the fact that there's nowhere left to go with the green ogre who would rather be having a mud bath than tending the kids -- Myers has lost his joy of performance.  

And he took "Shrek Forever After" with him.

Slightly off the robust entertainment target

 

Robin Longstride (Russell Crowe), a straight shooter.  (Universal Pictures)

"Robin Hood"

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Running time: 140 minutes

MPAA rating: PG-13 (violence including intense sequences of warfare, some sexual content)

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"Robin Hood"

When Russell Crowe and Ridley Scott re-team for the umpteenth adaptation of the Robin Hood legend, we get a fair dose of "Gladiator," a little "Guess Who's Coming to Dinner," major sword-clanking battles in Sherwood Forest and, by Scott and Crowe dark standards, Merry Men merriment.

"Robin Hood," which co-stars Cate Blanchett, William Hurt, Max Von Sydow and other fine actors, is the fifth collaboration for the New Zealand born movie star and his prolific British cohort in the director's chair.

Move often than not, the modus operandi has been tough guys in seriously dangerous situations.  "Gladiator" earned an Oscar nomination for Scott and a Best Actor golden statuette for his leading man.   Crowe and Scott reunited for "American Gangster" in 2007 and the thriller "Body of Lies" a year later.

In between, the duo took a little wine and cheesy movie break in France.  With Scott calling the shots, Crowe drank a little wine, wooed a pretty damsel and fell into an empty swimming pool.  That was "A Good Year." (2006)

"Robin Hood" begins in France as well, but there's little time to sit around sipping Chardonnay.  It's 1199 and archer Robin Longstride (Crowe) is among King Richard the Lionheart's (Danny Huston) troops laying siege to a French castle.  

Here we go again.  It's obvious from the spectacular opening sequence that the tag-team of Scott and Crowe are ready to rumble on a very large scale again.  If you were awake in high school history class, you may recall that the king doesn't walk away from the battle (despite winning).

It's nothing new for legends that loom large on our movie screens to be kneaded more than a little for mass market consumption.  "Robin Hood" screenwriter Brian Helgeland, who shared an Academy Award with director Curtis Hanson for "L.A. Confidential" in 1997, has no restraints when it comes to a legend that began in 9th century medieval oral history.

So forget what you know about Douglas Fairbanks as the hooded crusader in 1922 ("Robin Hood"), Errol Flynn in 1938 ("The Adventures of Robin Hood") and Sean Connery in 1976 ("Robin and Marian").  I trust you've already filed Kevin Costner's wobbly British accent in "Robin Hood:  Prince of Thieves" (1991) so far back in your memory bank that it couldn't reemerge even if you wanted it to.

This "Robin Hood" is essentially a prequel; Robin the Hood back story.  Once the skilled archer gets out of the stocks (for mouthing off to the king) and bonds with a handful of loyal rowdy followers (the Merry Men), the mission begins to return the fallen king's helmet to the Queen Mother (Eileen Atkins).

Robin, who grew up without a father, also agrees to return a dying prodigal son's sword to the doomed soldier's father.  That may seem like a lot of chores for a future hero of Sherwood Forest to bog himself down with.  But since this movie ends where most Robin Hood flicks begin (Sequel anybody?), there's no plot-point agenda.

Marion, tough and no one's damsel in distress as portrayed by Blanchett, turns out to be the revered old man's (Von Sydow) daughter-in-law.  Only in the movies does a stranger move into a lady's bedroom and pose as her husband to keep peace in the land.  That works fine for a day or two.  But then the need to scratch the old Scott-Crowe itch kicks in, and ferocious battles rage with lives and, in fact, England itself on the line.

"Robin Hood" squeezes in a wee bit of merriment.  Mark Addy ("The Full Monty"), who toned down his British accent a little to star in the U.S. sitcom "Still Standing," earns some laughs as mead-swilling Friar Tuck.  William Hurt plays it serious as Sir William Marshal, though, turning in one of his finest performances in years.  And Mark Strong (Lord Blackwood in "Sherlock Holmes") is about all anyone needs as nasty villain Sir Godfrey.

At two hours and 20 minutes, "Robin Hood" indulges itself too long on screen.  Technically it's on target, though, if you appreciate boiling oil dumped on soldiers and enough flying arrows to block out the sun at times.  Generally, however, Scott and Crowe are both on top of their  game.

And the game here is tweaking a mystery folk hero into a bankable new epic movie franchise.

Time to get Kraken, but in 2-D

Perseus (Sam Worthington) readies to dance the monster-mash.
(Warner Bros. Pictures)

Clash of the Titans 

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Running time: 106 minutes

MPAA rating: PG-13 (extreme action violence, frightening images, brief sensuality)

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"Clash of the Titans"

Release the Kraken again?

Yeah, why not?  Just know there's no real need to spring for the extra three or four bucks for the 3-D glasses.

"Clash of the Titans," you see, was not shot in eye-popping 3-D, as was "Avatar."  Like Tim Burton's recent retooling of "Alice in Wonderland," it was shot in traditional 2-D and converted to 3-D to cash in on the swelling trend of three-dimensional viewing.

No matter which route you go, there's plenty of enormous scorpion battle action, visits by Hades himself (Ralph Fiennes) and, of course, the Kraken, ancient Greece's version of a shock-and-awe weapon of mass destruction.

Here's a phrase I never thought I'd be writing:  "Clash of the Titans" is based on an old Harry Hamlin fantasy action flick.

It's true, though.  There's no source material for the remake that fills the screen with silly dialogue, decent acting and adequate special effects except the original "Clash of the Titans" of 1981.  That one featured Hamlin as demigod Perseus and the late Sir Laurence Olivier as Zeus, Perseus' god daddy.

In the revamp, Sam Worthington, the Aussie actor who romped with the Pandorians as Jake Sully in "Avatar," takes on Perseus, while Liam Neeson holds court on Mount Olympus as Zeus.  

Perseus, like the god-rejecting seaside citizens of Argos, would rather fight the gods than join his father.  He's especially ticked at Hades, who drowned Perseus' Earthly family in retaliation when the riled-up citizens chunk  a huge statue of Zeus into the sea.

"Collateral damage," Hades tells Perseus.

I don't know about you, but that doesn't exactly sound like 200 BC dialogue to me.  Also, Worthington (perhaps with "Avatar" on his mind) doesn't appear fully invested emotionally in this performance.  Gemma Arterton injects some spirit as Io, Perseus' magical mystical guide, though.  That helps.

"Clash of the Titans" hits all the hot plot points.  Perseus and a small band of determined soldiers battle the giant scorpions, hop the ferry to Hades to take on snake-like Medusa (Natalia Vodianova) and, encounter the winged black stallion Pegasus.  Of course all of this is just a prelude to the finale, which is launched when Neeson's Zeus bellows, "Release the Kraken!"

At the screening I attended, several fanboys down front felt it was necessary to scream the line along with Neeson.  (No one told me this was a sing-along screening.)

From this aisle seat, "Clash of the Titans" draws a split vote.  It ranks high enough on the monster-mash entertainment meter to be worth a look, especially if you like creature features.

The drawback, however, is that director Louis Leterrier ("The Incredible Hulk") and visual effects supervisor Nick Davis (an Oscar nominee for "The Dark Knight") use modern advancements in technology to squeeze the cheesy wink-at-the-audience fun from the production.

That was the beauty of the original.  It was stilted and imperfect, but a hoot.

For lack of a worse description, let's call the original "Hamlin on wry with cheese."

Computer animated 'Dino' might

Hiccup (Jay Baruchel)  and Toothless, his somewhat tamed night stalker dino.  (Paramount Pictures)

How to Train Your Dragon

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Running time: 98 minutes

MPAA rating: PG (sequences of intense action and some scary images, brief mild profanity)

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"How to Train Your Dragon"

"How to Train Your Dragon" isn't one of the truly great animated comic adventures like "Up" or "Shrek" or the first "Toy Story," which rollicked across movie screens way back in 1995.

It's packed with vibrant entertainment value, though.  And parents aren't likely to doze off or be disgusted by this rambunctious adventure set in the long-ago fantasy world of plus-sized Vikings and fire-breathing dragons.

Young kids today probably have no inkling that animated films of their generation are no longer harnessed by technical limitations.  The sky really is the imagination limit these days.  Within a minute or two of opening -- even before, perhaps, the 3-D glasses are settled properly onto ears and noses -- the sky fills with angry, marauding dinosaurs-on-the-hunt.

A scrawny teen-age Viking named Hiccup (voiced by Jay Baruchel)  is at the center of what appears to be a series of maelstroms dating back 300 years, when the Vikings first landed on the fictional Isle of Berk.

If brawn, not brains were all that mattered in this survival-of-the-fittest yarn, Hiccup would probably appear briefly, as the name implies.  Writer-directors Chris Sanders and Dean DeBlois, who brought "Lilo & Stitch" (a 2002 animated tale I really liked) to the screen, instead mold this unlikely leading boy-man into the easy-to-like anti-hero.

Hiccup's dad Stoick the Vast (Gerard Butler) is the tribal chief.  Frankly, he's a little ashamed of his thin wisp of a son.  When inventive Hiccup brings down a dreaded Night Fury dinosaur, however, things change drastically. He's sent to dragon slayer school and Stoick the Vast's chest, which is already puffed way out, puffs out more.

For a while, I had a decent time marveling at the technical artistry the directors bring to the screen from the 2003 children's book by Cressida Cowell. It soon becomes obvious, though, that "How to Train a Dragon" bears striking similarities to James Cameron's futuristic sci-fi marvel "Avatar."  

Hiccup befriends the wild breast Night Fury, which he eventually names Toothless.  Together, they soar on a journey that might just bring together two very different tribes (human and beast), just like in "Avatar."

The vocal talent soars right along with the visuals.  In addition to Baruchel and Butler, late-night TV talk show host Craig Ferguson belts his lines with style as Gobber, the village blacksmith and dragon trainer.

And America Ferrera ("Ugly Betty" on TV) might just melt a few young male hearts as Astrid, the Tom Boy Viking girl who becomes entangled with both Hiccup and his black dino stallion.  

The old Alice doesn't live here anymore

 

Tea party anyone?  Johnny Depp as the Mad Hatter.  (Walt Disney Pictures)

Alice in Wonderland

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Running time: 109 minutes

MPAA rating: PG (fantasy action/violence involving scary images and situations, and for a smoking caterpillar)

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"Alice in Wonderland"

Welcome to Alice in "Underland."

Not Wonderland?

Nope.  In Tim Burton's garishly stylized retooling of Lewis Carroll's 1865 classic "Alice's Adventures in Wonderland," the abstract, bizarre world below Victorian England is called Underland.  Get used to it, as Alice, now 19 and no longer a little girl, must.

I expected to be blown away, magically transformed and seduced by Burton's helter-skelter take on the "Oz"-like classic.

 

After all, Burton has one of the most creative minds making movies in the new (and latter former) century.  Special effects are an electronic playground with no glass ceiling these days, and Burton's got favorite leading man Johnny Depp as the Mad Hatter.

From this aisle seat, though, falling down this rabbit hole to an other-world ruled by the tyrannical Red Queen (Helena Bonham Carter) felt a lot like revisiting the classic "Willy Wonka & the Chocolate Factory" under Burton's reworked title "Charlie and the Chocolate Factory," which was actually the original title of Roald Dahl's book.

Confused?  Me too.  But stay with me, we're not even to Underland yet.

It may be best to forget all you know about the original "Alice's Adventures in Wonderland" or any of the several "Alice in Wonderland" incarnations.  They run the gamut from animation to live action and even, ahem, a porn version (You saw that one?  Shame on you).

This is something grandly skewed and distanced from any version that has come before.  Frankly, I feel ballerina-turned-actress Mia Wasikowska ("Defiance") is the weak link in all this stylized madness as the title character.

This Alice has just been proposed to by a boring English Lord with a sensitive stomach when she follows a rabbit wearing a waistcoat and pocket watch.  All the usual Wonderland -- excuse me, Underland -- suspects show up once she's managed to enter the lush garden world through a tiny door.

There is never any question that Burton, working from an adapted script by Linda Woolverton ("Beauty and the Beast") Carroll's "Alice's Adventures in Wonderland" and "Through the Looking Glass," will focus primarily on Depp.

Wild eyed and sporting bright orange hair, he's the Hatter driven quite nuts by mercury poisoning associated with spending too much time making hats.  It should come as no surprise that Depp chews the scenery with ravenous gusto.  He speaks with a lisp at times and seems to invoke a Scottish accent on a couple occasions.  I'm not really sure what's going on there.

Bonham Carter ("Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince") is also a Burton frequent collaborator, of course, and his significant other in real life.  She has no problem (and little challenge) with her ever-present "Off with his/her/their heads" dialogue.

You'll probably come away infatuated with some of the supporting characters.  Globe-shaped twins Tweedledee and Tweedledum (both voiced by British actor Matt Lucas) were a particular favorite of mine, although Bayard, the talking Bloodhound (voiced by Timothy Spall), is quite special as well.

Certainly the special effects are colorful and trend-setting and Burton and his actors give it their all.  Part of me wishes Burton had sent Alice down something more closely related to the old rabbit hole, however.

Oh well.  Tweedledee, Tweedledum.