'Shrek's' 'A Wonderful Life,' lousy sequel
Shrek (voiced by Mike Myers) and Fiona (Cameron Diaz) in a new adventure. (Paramount Pictures)
Shrek Forever After
Running time: 93 minutes
MPAA rating: PG (mild action, some rude humor and brief language)
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The new "Shrek" is a wreck, and not one that's interesting enough to slow down for.
What else should we possibly expect from a third sequel in a franchise that launched in 2001?
Let's face it ... again. It's time to bid farewell to the lovable green ogre.
I know what you're thinking: "Hey, it's Shrek. My kids will love it."
Maybe. Perhaps cinematic newbies born too late to enjoy "Shrek" in its prime will. This one can be viewed from behind 3-D glasses, which only really matters for the opening sequence of white horses appearing to gallop off the screen and into the audience.
Once the horses and the carriage they're pulling have passed, however, the kids will be "enjoying" a blatant rehash of "It's a Wonderful Life," of all things.
In the fourth installment of the once creatively vibrant fairy tale set in a twisted land titled Far Far Away, our rotund hero is fighting the marital/parental blahs; a midlife crisis. His triplet little ogres are annoying him more with every burp or other gas passing (sure to draw a shock laugh from the kiddies).
Soon after Shrek blows his top at the kids' first birthday party, Rumpelstiltskin (Walt Dohrn, a feature voice newcomer who's also in charge of the story) offers the big, green, disenchanted guy the same deal Clarence the angel-in-training sold to Jimmy Stewart in "It's a Wonderful Life."
The details vary slightly, but suddenly Shrek never existed (just like Stewart's George Bailey). Far Far Away is ravaged like Bedford Falls gone to hell. Donkey (voiced vibrantly by Eddie Murphy as usual) has no idea who Shrek is.
What of Fiona (Cameron Diaz)? A human damsel without her Shrek savior by day and ogre by night, Fiona's leading the ogre resistance against the king (Rumpelstiltskin, of course) and the witches who protect him.
"Shrek Forever After," directed with lots of bluster but little spirit by Mike Mitchell ("Sky High," "Surviving Christmas"), is a sequel with such minuscule oomph that one of its main characters provides the tired metaphor.
Puss In Boots, the Zorro-like kitty voiced by Antonio Banderas, has grown fat and lazy (just like the franchise itself). When Puss, which can barely right himself, begs Donkey to lend him a tongue to groom fur he can no longer reach, it's almost as if screenwriters Josh Klausner ("Date Night") and Darren Lemke (a feature film first-timer) are signaling us that they're throwing in the adventure towel.
That brings us to Mike Myers ("Austin Powers"), the former "Saturday Night Live" standout who has been at the microphone as Shrek for almost a dozen years now.
For whatever reason -- personal challenges (the death of his mentor father, a divorce) or maybe just due to the fact that there's nowhere left to go with the green ogre who would rather be having a mud bath than tending the kids -- Myers has lost his joy of performance.
And he took "Shrek Forever After" with him.
What else should we possibly expect from a third sequel in a franchise that launched in 2001?
Let's face it ... again. It's time to bid farewell to the lovable green ogre.
I know what you're thinking: "Hey, it's Shrek. My kids will love it."
Maybe. Perhaps cinematic newbies born too late to enjoy "Shrek" in its prime will. This one can be viewed from behind 3-D glasses, which only really matters for the opening sequence of white horses appearing to gallop off the screen and into the audience.
Once the horses and the carriage they're pulling have passed, however, the kids will be "enjoying" a blatant rehash of "It's a Wonderful Life," of all things.
In the fourth installment of the once creatively vibrant fairy tale set in a twisted land titled Far Far Away, our rotund hero is fighting the marital/parental blahs; a midlife crisis. His triplet little ogres are annoying him more with every burp or other gas passing (sure to draw a shock laugh from the kiddies).
Soon after Shrek blows his top at the kids' first birthday party, Rumpelstiltskin (Walt Dohrn, a feature voice newcomer who's also in charge of the story) offers the big, green, disenchanted guy the same deal Clarence the angel-in-training sold to Jimmy Stewart in "It's a Wonderful Life."
The details vary slightly, but suddenly Shrek never existed (just like Stewart's George Bailey). Far Far Away is ravaged like Bedford Falls gone to hell. Donkey (voiced vibrantly by Eddie Murphy as usual) has no idea who Shrek is.
What of Fiona (Cameron Diaz)? A human damsel without her Shrek savior by day and ogre by night, Fiona's leading the ogre resistance against the king (Rumpelstiltskin, of course) and the witches who protect him.
"Shrek Forever After," directed with lots of bluster but little spirit by Mike Mitchell ("Sky High," "Surviving Christmas"), is a sequel with such minuscule oomph that one of its main characters provides the tired metaphor.
Puss In Boots, the Zorro-like kitty voiced by Antonio Banderas, has grown fat and lazy (just like the franchise itself). When Puss, which can barely right himself, begs Donkey to lend him a tongue to groom fur he can no longer reach, it's almost as if screenwriters Josh Klausner ("Date Night") and Darren Lemke (a feature film first-timer) are signaling us that they're throwing in the adventure towel.
That brings us to Mike Myers ("Austin Powers"), the former "Saturday Night Live" standout who has been at the microphone as Shrek for almost a dozen years now.
For whatever reason -- personal challenges (the death of his mentor father, a divorce) or maybe just due to the fact that there's nowhere left to go with the green ogre who would rather be having a mud bath than tending the kids -- Myers has lost his joy of performance.
And he took "Shrek Forever After" with him.
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