What's wrong with this picture?

OK, the floor is open for debate.

What's wrong or right about this picture of Ashton Kutcher in Charlie Sheen's old perch between Angus T. Jones, left, and Jon Cryer in the familiar "Two and a Half Men" pose?

Can anyone suggest a reason why CBS and the production company have decided to re-tool and move forward with a show that, although a cash cow, was broke beyond Humpty Dumpty repair when Sheen moved to Mars mentally and abandoned all hope of salvaging his financial connection to "the good life," i.e. drugs and women?

Please sing to the tune of the "Two and a Half Men" theme song:

"Money ... money ... money ... money ... mon-eeeeeeeeeeeeee."

Take it from me, this creative shipwreck is doomed to failure on the artistic level.

No one could right the Titanic once it went belly up, and no one will ever recreate the magic-in-a-bottle of Sheen as the heavy drinking womanizer who reluctantly allows his nebbish brother Alan (Cryer) and nephew Jake (Jones) to share his Malibu beach house.

Kutcher, a decent actor, will give it the good go.  According to a report by the Hollywood Reporter, CBS Entertainment president Nina Tassler had high praise for Kutcher (and took a slight verbal snipe at Sheen) Wednesday as she faced reporters at the fall TV network dog and pony show in L.A.

"'We have an extraordinary actor in Ashton Kutcher. You have someone who is committed to doing their job and is incredibly professional,' she said, adding that Kutcher is 'an extraordinarily talented, funny and gifted actor,'" sez the posted Hollywood Reporter article.

Tassler forgot to mention one thing.  Kutcher is not Charlie Sheen, and you can read into that what you will.

I have met and interviewed Sheen on more than one occasion.  I always walked away thinking something like, "This guy's crazy as a loon."

And that was before his cars began suspiciously falling off cliffs into deep Cali canyons.  That was before Sheen took a hike as TV's highest paid sitcom guy and showed up in Tinsel Town waving a machete and gathering a posse of "goddesses" to keep around the house.

Charlie is Charlie is Charlie.

He was also extremely funny as the anchor of the sitcom CBS is trying to rebuild.

Once Sheen exits the "Two and a Half Men" grand scheme for good, however, as he likely will when the new season debuts Sept. 19 with a two-parter that's rumored to be about Charlie's funeral, the only people who stand to "win" are the advertisers, CBS and the production company.

Bottom line men, you see, could care less about artistic integrity, on-screen chemistry or a sitcom story that makes sense.

They're keen on something else.  Hit it boys ...

"Money ... money ... money ... money ... mon-eeeeeeeeeeeeee."

Tips on beating the August Texas heat

• Stay indoors:  If you have good air conditioning, don't even think of cracking the front door open until around mid-November.  It's too darn hot.
• Let a neighborhood movie theater pay the outrageous electric bill to keep you cool.  Take in the  movie "Cowboys & Aliens." That'll take your mind off your electric bill because you'll be pondering the notion of high-tech aliens invading Earth in the 19th century Old West. Believe it or not, this one is fun.  Click here for my review of "Cowboys & Aliens."
• Just for fun, drive to Dairy Queen (with your auto air conditioner on Arctic Blast) and order a dip cone at the drive-through window.  Count the number of red lights you hit on the way home.  (Hint:  Take along paper towels to clean up melted Dip Cone from your hand, arm and vehicle.)

 New Movie Memories presentations

Those of you who visit this Web page regularly probably know that you can click on the list of Movie Memories presentations on the top left portion of the page for a description of each presentation.

There may be some new additions since you last perused them.  And today I'm happy to announce that we're adding "Life Lessons I've Learned at the Movies" to the mix. 

If you have a club, group or gathering of weary senators and/or congresspersons looking for a little fun after debating the debt ceiling debacle for way too long, check out the description of "Life Lessons I've Learned at the Movies" and give us a call at 972-599-2150 to book your presentation.

Most of all, enjoy our sizzling Texas summer, stay out of the heat as best you can and brace yourself for the revised "Two and a Half Men."

("Two and a Half Men" photo courtesy:  CBS)