Larry Ratliff

'Airbender,' 'Twilight' in tight race for worst

 

Aang (Noah Ringer) bends some wind in "The Last Airbender."   (Courtesy:  Paramount Pictures)

Welcome to The Razzies, the flip-side of movie awards season.

As is the custom this time of year, The Razzies "honor," or at least put on public display, the worst of the worst in cinema.

This year's lucky nominees feature a tie for "Worst Achievements in film."  M. Night Shyamalan's grotesquely boring "The Last Airbender" and "Twilight Saga:  Eclipse" each drew nine hoots, er, nominations.

According to an article posted on th Hollywood Reporter Web site, it's a dubious dishonor for the "Airbender" director.

"Razzie repeat offender Shyamalan was nominated as worst director for 'Airbender.' The film is also up for worst picture, worst remake, worst screenplay, worst screen couple/ensemble (the entire cast).

"The movie is also up for a brand new award, Worst Eye-Gouging Mis-Use of 3-D," according to the Hollywood Reporter article.

The so-called Razzie "winners" will be announced from Hollywood on Feb. 26, just one night before Oscar rolls out his red carpet for Hollywood's brightest movie awards spotlight.

So where did the Razzies come from, anyway?  Believe it or not, they've been around for three decades, according to the Razzies Web site.

"The Razzies were created in 1980 as a logical antidote to Tinsel Town’s annual glut of self-congratulatory awards by John Wilson, author of 'The Official Razzie Movie Guide and Everything I Know I Learned at the Movies.'

"Nominees were determined by mailing ballots to 637 voters in 46 U.S. states and 17 foreign countries. Electronic voting and certification of this year’s final Razzie ballots will be handled by Vote-Now.com," says the Razzie Web site.

Click here for the full story and the complete list of nominees.

(Worst actor Robert Pattinson, for "Twilight Saga:  Eclipse" courtesy:  Summit Entertainment)

DFW Critics get 'Social'/Where wolf? Here wolf

 

Jesse Eisenberg, left, and Justin Timberlake in "The Social Network."  (Courtesy:  Columbia Pictures)

This just in:  The Dallas-Fort Worth Film Critics Association, which, I'm proud to say, includes yours truly, has lauded "The Social Network" as the best film of 2010.

Never mind that the true-life drama revolving around the formation of Facebook wasn't my first choice.  These things happen. 

Side-note:  What's the matter with you people?  Am I the only one who saw the brilliance of Jim Carrey's dark, dark, dark comic-drama "I Love You Phillip Morris"?

I'm guessing the answer to that one is probably yes.  Oh well, the road less traveled (or the movie less appreciated) and all that.

We interrupt the DFW Film Critics results to bring you this important, if slightly shameless, "Twilight Saga" promotional event:

Kiowa Gordon, who howls (often shirtless) as Embry in the "Twilight Saga" vampire/werewolf movie franchise, will be in Dallas to sign autographs this (Friday) afternoon at 6 p.m.

The line forms at 4 at the Best Buy at 9378 N. Central Expressway (Dallas, 75231).  There is a slight catch.  From what I can gather from the press dispatch, you need to fork over for any of the "Twilight Saga: Eclipse" DVD, Blu-ray or combo pack to score the autograph.

Now back to our regularly scheduled DFW Film Critics' Assoc. awards.  Rounding out the composite list of Top 10 films are "The King's Speech," "Black Swan," "127 Hours," "Winter's Bone," "Inception," "The Fighter," "True Grit," "The Town" and "The Kids Are All Right."

It paid to be stuck between a rock and a hard place or a little nuts this year.  James Franco took Best Actor honors for "127 Hours," while Natalie Portman won Best Actress as the New York ballet dancer having, let's say, some issues in "Black Swan."

Christian Bale punched his way to a Supporting Actor win in "The Fighter," and Melissa Leo provided the "Fighter" double whammy as Best Actress for her work as Mark Wahlberg's mommie dearest.

In other awards, David Fincher was voted Best Director for "The Social Network," "Biutiful" was named Best Foreign-Language Film, "Waiting for Superman" won Best Documentary and "Toy Story 3" toppled "How to Train Your Dragon" in the Best Animated Film race.

There are 28 broadcast, print and online journalists from throughout North Texas in the Dallas-Fort Worth Film Critics Association.  For more info, visit http://dfwfilmcritics.com/.

(Kiowa Gordon photo courtesy:  Columbia Tristar Marketing Group) 

Vampires suck big entertainment bucks

(Courtesy:  Warner Bros. Pictues)

It all started back in the early 19th century with perhaps the oddest possible romantic bad-boy scenario:

Let a creepy vampire suck your blood and you will live forever with no worries.  With the possible exception, of course, that some people aren't particularly fond of being slaughtered and kidnapped from their human existence in this grisly form.

That minor setback aside, the movie industry and, lately TV, have -- according to an item posted on the Hollywood Reporter Web site -- sucked billions of dollars from our entertainment budgets in movies, TV shows like "True Blood," books ("Twilight" lately) and merchandising. 

"'By starting with one simple mythological creature that's been part of our literary universe for centuries, you can create a story that has it all: romance, horror, action, special effects, sex, epic love, wish fulfillment, romantic leading men, delicious bad-boy villains, female badasses, damsels in distress, death, monsters and, ultimately, the perfectly flawed hero who would give it all up if it meant they wouldn't have to spend eternity alone,' says Julie Plec, writer and exec producer of the CW series 'The Vampire Diaries.' It doesn't get more universal than that."

"That gets to the bloody heart of it," the Hollywood Reporter post states. "Because they're not specific to genre, vampires have the freedom to roam not just across mediums but from romance to horror to political commentary to humor. Their versatility is endless, swinging from chaste innocence to sexy violence, so the potential audience is everyone."

The latest teen fad -- excuse me a moment while I check that.  Yes, the latest teen fad is going to the dentist and insisting that Mommy and Daddy pay big bucks to have perfectly good incisors whittled into something resembling fangs.

Some stronger-willed parents are bucking the trend, however.  They insist it would make more sense for the canine teeth to do the pointy thing.

In the past week alone, the "Twilight" spoof "Vampires Suck" grossed (a fine choice of words, if you ask me) $20 million in its opening weekend on the big screen, according to the Hollywood Reporter.

Click here to read the entire Web post.

Note to parents:  Please warn your impressionable children that all eternal bloodsuckers don't look like Tom Cruise, Brad Pitt or Antonio Banderas did in "Interview With the Vampire" back in 1994 or even Robert Pattinson in the current "Twilight" franchise.

Often, during daylight hours at least, the bloodsuckers look perfectly normal; like ambulance-chasing attorneys or health insurance underwriters.

Yo, Stallone's 64 and 'Eclipse' kills a guy

Actually, the news gets worse.  Cinderella is dead, too.

Are you sure this isn't a second Monday of the week?

Sylvester Stallone is back in action in "The Expendables." (Courtesy:  Lionsgate)

First comes news that Sylvester Stallone, the mushy-mouthed icon of "Rocky" and "Rambo" who's 64 today, is now one year away from Medicare benefits.  Then the news that Ilene Woods, the voice of golden-haired Cinderella in Disney's 1950 animated classic has died at 81.

Now word comes trickling in from the Risky Business blog at the Hollywood Reporter Web site that a 23-year-old New Zealand man was found, uh, expired in a movie theater after watching "The Twilight Saga:  Eclipse."

"Paramedics who arrived on the scene to resuscitate him found no obvious injuries, which can only mean one thing: 'Twilight' killed him," a Risky Business blogger surmises.

That, according to the Hollywood Reporter dispatch, left only one question to be solved:

"Was the unnamed gentleman a fan or critic of the beloved film franchise? Did he die in a burst of physiologically overpowering excitement, perhaps in the climactic battle between werewolves and vampires, or maybe just when Taylor Lautner first took his shirt off? Then again, he like so many male 23-year-olds outside the 'Twilight' target demographic may have literally been bored to death. We'll never know," sez the blog scribe.

My guess is that waiting for the autopsy report won't help much.  I'm pretty sure that if one could die from movie boredom it would have shown up as a killer long before this.

But back to Stallone for a sec.  The Oscar-nominated (as actor and screenwriter of "Rocky" in 1976) actor/filmmaker is hardly finished.

Stallone directs and stars in "The Expendables," which opens Aug. 13.  He'll share the screen with fellow hardened mercenaries of a certain age Dolph Lundgren, Eric Roberts and Steve Austin.

"Yo, Aleve!"

'Twilight: Eclipse' has arrived; should you care?

The werewolf (Taylor Lautner), the girl (Kristen Stewart) and the vampire (Robert Pattinson) of "Twilight" are back on movie screens.  (Summit Entertainment)

As second sequels (or the third installment in a movie franchise) go, "The Twilight Saga:  Eclipse" can't hold a pull-string to "Toy Story 3" when it comes to entertainment or quality, or story, or performer talent, or production value, or directing or yada, yada, yada.

The "Twilight" 100-year-old-vampire-boy-meets-small-town-Washington-state-moody-girl yarn has something else going for it, of course.  It's a pop culture phenom in full, teen-girls-waiting-in-line-for-hours-for-a-midnight-screening bloom.

Should you invest your time, your money and/or your teenager's tender emotions?

Click here for my review of "Twilight:  Eclipse." 

Grab fangs 'n thangs, the 'Eclipse' party's on

Some entertainment reporters are comparing the frenzy surrounding the June 30 arrival of "The Twilight Saga:  Eclipse" to the Beatles invasion of the U.S. in 1964.

I won't go that far.  Elizabeth Guider does, however, in a Hollywood Reporter story (click here to read it) about "an ever-swelling coterie of vampire lovers, most of them female," who have sequestered in the Hollywood, Cali. sun for days to get a glimpse of the young "Twilight: Eclipse" stars as they stroll the Nokia Theater red carpet tonight before the world premiere.

The celebratory party moves to Dallas Saturday night with plenty of hoopla, but perhaps lacking much of the star- frenzy bite.  Robert Pattinson, Kristen Stewart and Taylor Lautner, the vampire/werewolf series marquee names, are not on the announced celeb list for the Dallas gathering.  The Big D event is free and cranks up at 6 p.m. Saturday at the AT&T Plaza at the American Airlines Center (2500 Victory Ave.).

Team Vampire and Team Werewolf will be represented, however.  Jodelle Ferland, who plays newborn vampire Bree (the subject of Stephenie Meyer's novella "The Short Second Life of Bree Tanner"), and Tyson Houseman, Quil of the wolf pack, are scheduled to walk the Dallas red carpet about 8:20 p.m. or so.

After the sun goes down, Ferland and Houseman will introduce a screening of last year's "Twilight:  New Moon," the second "Twilight" tale of brooding teenage vampires and werewolves and Bella Swan (Stewart), the emotionally torn girl in the middle.

The hot summer fright night kicks off with a little music.  Area bands The Herdsmen and Chandler Nash will set the mood for an expected wild evening that'll include a photo booth, an airbrush tattoo artist and free "Eclipse" promotional items.

If you're planning to attend Big D's big "Twilight" evening, you should know that no outside food or drinks will be allowed in.  Concessions will be available, however, at the south end of American Airlines Center. 

("Twilight:  Eclipse" logo and photos of Jodelle Ferland, top right, and Tyson Houseman courtesy of Summit Entertainment.)  

You've been watching 'Hangover,' haven't you

Phil (Bradley Cooper), left to right, Alan (Zach Galifianakis) and Stu (Ed Helms) try to survive "The Hangover."  (Courtesy:  Warner Bros.)

Now we know what you've been doing at night in the privacy of your own home.

OK, maybe not everything.  But according to an article posted on the Variety Web site and double-dipped along the Internet superhighway by EW.com (and triple-dipped by yours truly), many of you have been watching "The Hangover," last year's gross-out sex and booze romp about three groomsmen who lose their groom but find much adventure in Las Vegas.

"According to a new industry study, 'The Hangover' is the most-watched On Demand move ever.  Of course, On Demand has only been big for a few years, so 'ever' in this case means 'since the first CGI 'Alvin & the Chipmunks' movie came out,'” the EW.com article states.

Personally, I would go for No. 10, "Juno," a personal favorite, or even Clint Eastwood's "Gran Torino," which came in at No. 3.

I can certainly understand how "Twilight," the first gloomy "fangs for the memories" teen vampire adventure, rose to No. 2 on the list.  How "Four Christmases" made it to No. 4 or how the dismal buddy comedy "I Now Pronounce You Chuck & Larry" even cracked the list is beyond me.

Oh well, to each his or her own.  Just remember, someone is watching what you're watching.

So watch it! 

Six in '10; Films I really want to see this year

Leonardo DiCaprio reunites with Martin Scorsese for "Shutter Island."  (Paramount Pictures)

I had a dream last night.

I had a DREAM last night!  I HAD A DREAM LAST NIGHT!

I dreamed that the only movies opening this year were original projects.  No sequels.  No remakes, no (gag me with a movie stub) "re-imagined" classics, but fresh, never-before-seen productions.

We had some greasy home-delivered Chinese food last night.  That may have had something to do with my wild dreams.  I also dreamed that Conan, Jay and the NBC executives had worked out the pesky late-night logjam amicably (Not yet by a long-shot) and that the plug hasn't been pulled on "Spider-Man 4" (It has.)

Wait a minute, though.  The first garlic chicken-inspired vision could come true if movie-goers would simply avoid the remakes and sequels and stick to the new stuff.

We won't, of course.  Frankly, I'm somewhat interested in the "Iron Man" follow-up.  But I'm way over tired franchises like "Harry Potter," "Shrek" and even "Twilight" (Sorry, girls), just to name a few.

The new year will deliver a cinematic six-pack of original movies I can't want to see, though:

"Shutter Island" -- Leonardo DiCaprio and Oscar-winning director Martin Scorsese ("The Departed," "The Aviator") team up once again.  In this mystery thriller, DiCaprio and Mark Ruffalo portray U.S. marshals dispatched to a remote, barren island off the coast of Massachusetts to check out the disappearance of a murderess from the island's hospital for the criminally insane.  (Feb. 19)

"Inception" -- DiCaprio again.  But this time he's teaming with "Juno's" Ellen Page and playing mind games in an action sci-fi thriller directed by "Dark Knight" filmmaker Christopher Nolan. (July 16) 

Johnny Depp as the Mad Hatter.  (Walt Disney Studios Motion Pictures)

"Alice in Wonderland" -- Frequent collaborators Tim Burton and Johnny Depp, not to mention Helena Bonham Carter, whip up another batch of bizarre cinema in a new live version of the Lewis Carroll tale.  Depp's role?  Isn't it obvious:  The Mad Hatter.  And look for bizarre-in-real-life Crispin Glover as The Knave of Hearts.  (March 5)

"The Expendables" -- Sylvester Stallone wasn't finished when he resurrected "Rocky" and "Rambo."  In this new action yarn, Sly, who directs, rounds up Bruce Willis, Dolph Lundgren and even California gov Arnold Schwarzenegger to blow a bunch of stuff up.  One request, boys:  Keep your shirts on. (April 23)

"Robin Hood" -- This must be the year for old cinematic pals -- or collaborators, at least -- to reunite.  Russell Crowe and Ridley Scott, who did very well with "Gladiator," OK with "American Gangster" and not so well with the ironically titled "A Good Year," send Crowe out into the medieval forest in tights to try again.  (May 14)

"The Green Hornet" -- Going "Green," but not necessarily in support of the environment, Seth Rogen tries his luck as a super-hero.  Frankly, I prefer the old, fat, irreverent, funny Rogen.  I'm open-minded, though, so come on Seth, show us some moves.  It's only fair to warn you that Michel Gondry, the only filmmaker not to get a funny performance out of Jack Black in an alleged comedy ("Be Kind Rewind"), is in the director's chair.  (Dec. 22) 

Weitz up: Taking a 'Twilight New Moon' walk

 

(Left to right) Kristen Stewart, Chris Weitz, 1st  AD Mike Topoozian and make-up artist Robin Matthews on the "New Moon" set.  (Summit Entertainment)

Tween screams won't be limited to Halloween this year.

The Nov. 20 release date of "The Twilight Saga:  New Moon" looms ever closer.  There's some good news for frenzied fans waiting with baited breath for the second installment of Stephenie Meyer's young vampire romancer.

Director Chris Weitz, who took over the "Twilight" sequel when Texan Catherine Hardwicke was removed from the project, is finally speaking out about taking over the popular novel-to-big screen franchise.

As Borys Kit points out in the Q&A interview posted on the Hollywood Reporter Web site, "The man behind 'American Pie' and 'About a Boy' wasn't the obvious choice to take on 'The Twilight Saga: New Moon.'"

Weitz likes to genre hop, however.  That probably had more than a little to do with the writer-director of "The Golden Compass," a lackluster fantasy at best, hopping in the director's chair for the "Twilight" sequel.

Click here to read Kit's Chris Weitz interview. 

Cohen moons Eminem, 'Moon' trailer hits MTV

It's a bird! No, it's Sacha Baron Cohen coming in for a crash landing at the MTV Awards./Courtesy Getty Images/MTV

Irreverence is nothing new at the MTV Awards.  But when Sacha Baron "Borat" Cohen, dressed as a bird and sailing high over the audience on a wire, crash-landed on rapper Eminem Sunday night near Los Angeles, it represented a new low -- or high, depending on your point of view -- even for the MTV Awards.

Eminem, not exactly a demure performance wall-flower himself, didn't appear to take kindly to having Cohen's mostly bare hiney in his face until crew members dislodged Cohen (promoting his upcoming shock comedy "Bruno") and sent him twirling airborne once again.

According to an item posted on the Hollywood Reporter Web site, "Eminem stormed out in 'a heated rage' after the incident at the Gibson Amphitheatre." 

Accident or carefully orchestrated event?  You decide, but I have my doubts that it was an equipment malfunction.  Too many camera angles caught the event and all parties involved appear to be miked.

For the record, "Twilight" took top honors, sucking up five awards.  (See results here.)

Probably the most exciting event for "Twilight" fans, though, was the debut of the new trailer for the highly anticipated "Twilight" sequel "New Moon," which hits theaters Nov. 20.  In what the Associated Press calls "an exclusive premiere," devoted "Twilight" fans saw Taylor Lautner's Jake transform into a teen werewolf.

Backstage at the awards, however, even Ben Stiller was still reeling about Cohen's drop-in landing on Eminem.

"I enjoyed his precision landing," Stiller told reporters (according to the Hollywood Reporter).  "I did not see that coming."