Larry Ratliff

'Twilight: Eclipse' has arrived; should you care?

The werewolf (Taylor Lautner), the girl (Kristen Stewart) and the vampire (Robert Pattinson) of "Twilight" are back on movie screens.  (Summit Entertainment)

As second sequels (or the third installment in a movie franchise) go, "The Twilight Saga:  Eclipse" can't hold a pull-string to "Toy Story 3" when it comes to entertainment or quality, or story, or performer talent, or production value, or directing or yada, yada, yada.

The "Twilight" 100-year-old-vampire-boy-meets-small-town-Washington-state-moody-girl yarn has something else going for it, of course.  It's a pop culture phenom in full, teen-girls-waiting-in-line-for-hours-for-a-midnight-screening bloom.

Should you invest your time, your money and/or your teenager's tender emotions?

Click here for my review of "Twilight:  Eclipse." 

Megan Fox no longer on a single run

Megan Fox in "Transformers:  Revenge of the Fallen."  (Courtesy:  DreamWorks SKG)

Sorry, fellas, Megan Fox is off the market.

The former "Transformers" sexpot and on-and-off actor boyfriend Brian Austin Green ("Terminator:  The Sarah Connor Chronicles" on TV) were secretly married in Hawaii last Thursday, according to multiple sources.

"After dating for two years, despite a 12-year age difference, the pair got engaged in November 2006. They lived together, along with a potbellied pig, dogs, two cats, two birds and a squirrel," sez an MTV.com on-line post.

Fox, on screen currently in "Jonah Hex," and Green were first engaged in 2006, but broke up in early 2009, according to published reports. 

"'We've lived together for three years. We have tattoos of each other's names,' Green said in an interview, adding that he also wouldn't mind having children with his lady. 'I would love more kids. Right now, our biggest problem is rescuing pets from pet stores,'" the MTV.com post states.

Click here to read the entire story.  

In a lousy mood today, so ...

Sometimes, as we navigate life, we're the dog, and sometimes we're the cat.

I'm the dog today.  You'd think that's good, right?

Think again:

 

 

And thanks to dzhonkz and You Tube for making me smile a little on an otherwise dismal day.

Grab fangs 'n thangs, the 'Eclipse' party's on

Some entertainment reporters are comparing the frenzy surrounding the June 30 arrival of "The Twilight Saga:  Eclipse" to the Beatles invasion of the U.S. in 1964.

I won't go that far.  Elizabeth Guider does, however, in a Hollywood Reporter story (click here to read it) about "an ever-swelling coterie of vampire lovers, most of them female," who have sequestered in the Hollywood, Cali. sun for days to get a glimpse of the young "Twilight: Eclipse" stars as they stroll the Nokia Theater red carpet tonight before the world premiere.

The celebratory party moves to Dallas Saturday night with plenty of hoopla, but perhaps lacking much of the star- frenzy bite.  Robert Pattinson, Kristen Stewart and Taylor Lautner, the vampire/werewolf series marquee names, are not on the announced celeb list for the Dallas gathering.  The Big D event is free and cranks up at 6 p.m. Saturday at the AT&T Plaza at the American Airlines Center (2500 Victory Ave.).

Team Vampire and Team Werewolf will be represented, however.  Jodelle Ferland, who plays newborn vampire Bree (the subject of Stephenie Meyer's novella "The Short Second Life of Bree Tanner"), and Tyson Houseman, Quil of the wolf pack, are scheduled to walk the Dallas red carpet about 8:20 p.m. or so.

After the sun goes down, Ferland and Houseman will introduce a screening of last year's "Twilight:  New Moon," the second "Twilight" tale of brooding teenage vampires and werewolves and Bella Swan (Stewart), the emotionally torn girl in the middle.

The hot summer fright night kicks off with a little music.  Area bands The Herdsmen and Chandler Nash will set the mood for an expected wild evening that'll include a photo booth, an airbrush tattoo artist and free "Eclipse" promotional items.

If you're planning to attend Big D's big "Twilight" evening, you should know that no outside food or drinks will be allowed in.  Concessions will be available, however, at the south end of American Airlines Center. 

("Twilight:  Eclipse" logo and photos of Jodelle Ferland, top right, and Tyson Houseman courtesy of Summit Entertainment.)  

That's a (quick) wrap; Bynes retires @ 24

(Courtesy:  contactmusic.com)

It's no surprise that actress Amanda Bynes announced her retirement from acting on Twitter a few days ago:  "I don't love acting anymore so I've stopped doing it."

She should have at least Tweeted "You won't have Amanda Bynes to kick around anymore." (Unless that's too many keystrokes for Twittering.)

The shocker is that Bynes, who had a featured role in "Hairspray" in 2007, is giving up the fight to find international fame, fortune and, quite possibly tattoos before her 25th birthday.

This might be a good time to direct you to my recent Twitter posts.  Never mind, I'll share a few:

"I don't love taking out the trash anymore, so I've stopped doing it."

"Showering's a bummer.  So bye-bye soap and shampoo."

"Are you going to eat that ... and that ... and that?  I just don't love dieting anymore, so I've stopped doing it."

Thefrisky.com Web site takes the sudden Bynes retirement news to a new level (up or down/you decide) listing other young celebs who should call it a career.

Click here to see the list.   

Smart, quality summer movies; who knew?

Woody (Tom Hanks), left, Buzz Lightyear (Tim Allen) and the "Toy Story 3" gang.  (Pixar/Disney)

This almost-summer, while some of the potential blockbusters are under-performing when it comes to entertainment value ("Sex and the City 2," "Shrek Forever After," etc.), others have come from out of the blue to raise the level of not just hot-month flicks, but movies in general.

Now the good news.  Two of the major players just happen to be opening this weekend.

Annette Bening in "Mother and Child."

(Sony Pictures Classics)

The first thing you need to know about "Toy Story 3" is that it provides exceptional entertainment for the entire family.  Secondly, this rousing animated yarn from Pixar/Disney about Woody (Tom Hanks), Buzz Lightyear (Tim Allen) and the rest of the toy-box gang is not just for kids.  Well, it is, but it's exhilarating entertainment for children of all ages.

Thirdly, this third installment in the series ranks, in my humble opinion, as the most accomplished second sequel in movie history.  Click here for my "Toy Story 3" movie review.

Also, I'd like to encourage adult movie-lovers to take a chance on the no-holds-barred documentary "Joan Rivers -- A Piece of Work."

It doesn't matter what you think of the facially altered comedian or even documentaries.  If you appreciate back-stage celebrity passes that inform instead of merely gawking at the subject matter, you'll dive into the emotional gearshift that has propelled the 77-year-old performer through thick and now thin.

Click here for my "Joan Rivers -- A Piece of Work" review.

And, if you live in the San Antonio area, you might want to give a little shout out to the AMC Huebner Oaks management team.  That's where you'll (finally!) find the exclusive (to S.A.) run of "Mother and Child," the film I consider the finest emotional drama of the year so far.

Annette Bening, Naomi Watts and Kerry Washington star as three women whose lives are profoundly altered by various areas of the child adoption process.

Trust me on this one.  You won't soon forget the emotional stamp it will leave on you.

Click here for my "Mother and Child" review.

Who says we can't enjoy quality movies of substance in the summertime?

A 'Wake' up call for Miley Cyrus

Miley Cyrus in concert.  (Courtesy:  WireImage.com)

It's not unusual for a 17-year-old to embrace a slightly edgier lifestyle as adulthood approaches.

For Miley Cyrus, Disney's squeaky-clean "Hannah Montana" TV/movie princess, it's all happening on the world stage of celebrity.

Now comes word from The Hollywood Reporter that Cyrus, already vamping up her concert performances, "may be taking a step into the darkness."

According to the Hollywood Reporter Web post, Cyrus "is attached to star in an adaptation of Lisa McMann’s young-adult paranormal thriller novel 'Wake' for Paramount Pictures and MTV Films, which are picking up film rights to the property. 'Disturbia' co-writer Christopher Landon will adapt the book for the screen," the article by Jay A. Fernandez says.

The article adds that pop icon Cyrus, who turns 18 in November, "has fielded some criticism for displaying more overt sexuality at her live performances. Cyrus has repeatedly professed her comfort with the way she presents herself and her body, so moves into more mature material in her film career would seem to be a natural part of that progression. Her ultimate commitment to 'Wake' rests on the finished script," according to the Hollywood Reporter piece.

'Eli's' coming, don't hide your wallet now

(Courtesy:  Warner Bros. Pictures)

Another week, another batch of new DVDs for your rental or purchase pleasure.

And once again, one stands head and shoulders above the rest of the new arrivals lining the shelves at your neighborhood DVD store.

That would be "The Book of Eli," the dusty, spiritual, yet violence-riddled post-apocalyptic tale of survival starring Denzel Washington as the title character.

"The Book of Eli" hit big screens in mid-January.  Traditionally, that stretch of the movie studio calendar is a dumping ground for cinematic underachievers.  Opening during the fifth week of "Avatar's" release, the cryptic futuristic Western fought to second place in the box-office sweepstakes with a three-day domestic gross of $32.7 million, according to our friends over at BoxOfficeMojo.com.

If you haven't seen it, "The Book of Eli," directed by Albert and Allen Hughes, stirs the plot pot well.  Eli is on a trek to protect something sacred; the Good Book, in fact.  Excellent actor Gary Oldman takes the opposing view as Carnegie, a ruthless town boss desperate to get his hands on something good for selfish,bad reasons.

In my review, I said:

"We've seen action-adventures with heart before.  The 'Star Wars' sagas, for instance.

"'The Book of Eli' packs an additional element:  soul."

Click here to read the full review. 

  

You've been watching 'Hangover,' haven't you

Phil (Bradley Cooper), left to right, Alan (Zach Galifianakis) and Stu (Ed Helms) try to survive "The Hangover."  (Courtesy:  Warner Bros.)

Now we know what you've been doing at night in the privacy of your own home.

OK, maybe not everything.  But according to an article posted on the Variety Web site and double-dipped along the Internet superhighway by EW.com (and triple-dipped by yours truly), many of you have been watching "The Hangover," last year's gross-out sex and booze romp about three groomsmen who lose their groom but find much adventure in Las Vegas.

"According to a new industry study, 'The Hangover' is the most-watched On Demand move ever.  Of course, On Demand has only been big for a few years, so 'ever' in this case means 'since the first CGI 'Alvin & the Chipmunks' movie came out,'” the EW.com article states.

Personally, I would go for No. 10, "Juno," a personal favorite, or even Clint Eastwood's "Gran Torino," which came in at No. 3.

I can certainly understand how "Twilight," the first gloomy "fangs for the memories" teen vampire adventure, rose to No. 2 on the list.  How "Four Christmases" made it to No. 4 or how the dismal buddy comedy "I Now Pronounce You Chuck & Larry" even cracked the list is beyond me.

Oh well, to each his or her own.  Just remember, someone is watching what you're watching.

So watch it! 

It's the 'Kid' vs. 'The A-Team' in B.O. battle

Dre Parker (Jaden Smith), left, takes on a kung fu bully (Zhenwei Wang) in "The Karate Kid."

(Columbia Pictures)

All of the sudden it's the mid-'80s all over again.

Clockwise from top left:  A-Teamers Liam Neeson, Bradley Cooper, Sharlto Copley and Quinton "Rampage" Jackson.  (20th Century Fox)

I feel like for this weekend's entertainment we have a choice between watching comic-adventure shenanigans of "The A-Team" on NBC or heading out to the movies to see wise old martial arts sage Mr. Miyagi (Pat Morita) instill enough confidence and kung fu savvy into young Daniel (Ralph Macchio) so that he can face his tormentors.

That's not the case at all, of course.  Both "The A-Team" and "The Karate Kid" have been re-imagined.  Hipper, updated and boosted by better actors (except for the late Morita, who was superb), they square off this weekend in movie multiplexes all across this great country of ours.

There's much speculation bouncing around the Web today about which film will command box-office control.  An article on EW.com, for instance, wonders if these two 1980s reboots can save this weekend's box office.

That's of little concern to me and probably to you, unless you've invested in one of the films or hold movie studio stock.  Of more importance, if you ask me, is which movie will give you more entertainment bang for you buck.

If you're a teenager or if you have kids, "The Karate Kid" is definitely the way to go.  At well over two hours, it's too long.  But Jaden Smith and Jackie Chan are great together, and the stand-up-and-cheer ending might just get some parents up and on their feet along with the kids. 

Click here for my "Karate Kid" review.

Frankly, I'm not real sure who the target audience is for the "A-Team" reboot.

Devotees of the '80s TV version may not want to see new guys in familiar roles, although Bradley Cooper ("The Hangover") and Sharlto Copley ("District 9") are darn good as lover-boy Face and lunatic pilot Howlin' Mad Murdock respectively.

Movie-goers who never saw the TV series might enjoy the redux just for the cavalier fun and the bombastic action.  Click here for my "A-Team" review.

Whichever way you go, just know that it's mainstream popcorn movie week at the cinema.