Larry Ratliff

Stop the presses; a screenwriter says he's sorry

(Courtesy:  Warner Bros.)

I remember interviewing John Travolta when the Scientology-based sci-fi thriller "Battlefield Earth" was about to launch at movie houses in May 2000.

It was a difficult interview because I hated the movie and dreaded the moment that might come when Travolta, a personal favorite and one of the cinema's most personable stars, might ask, "So, what did you think about the movie?"

Travolta was too smart for that, of course.  He said all the right things about the movie, but I got the feeling at the time that Travolta might not have his full heart in touting the not-exactly-epic film based on the novel by L. Ron Hubbard, the Scientology founder.

Fast-forward to 2010 and an amazing thing has happened.  J.D. Shapiro, who wrote the "Battlefield Earth" screenplay, took out an ad in the New York Post to basically say he was sorry and that his script is not the one that earned the film the Razzie Award dishonors as "Worst Movie of the Decade," according to CNN's blog The Marquee.

“My script was very, VERY different than what ended up on the screen,” Shapiro said. “My screenplay was darker, grittier and had a very compelling story with rich characters.” 

Stay out of the 'Hot Tub' this weekend

Vivian (Dominik Garcia-Loridc, Andy Garcia's real-life daughter), left, Joyce (Julianna Margulies) and Vince (Garcia) try to work things out in "City Island."  (Anchor Bay Films)

Diverse movie choices abound this weekend.

Just, for the love of good movies, stay away from "Hot Tub Time Machine," which my friend and former newspaper editor Robert Johnson correctly dubbed "'The Hangover'-meets-'Back to the Future' romp."

There's lowbrow comedy and then there's desperate bottom-feeder comedy that fails miserably.  I liked one thing about "Hot Tub Time Machine."  Click here for the review and find out what -- or, more appropriately, who -- that is.

My first movie choice this weekend is the smart, sassy dysfunctional family comedy "City Island."  If it's playing in your area, just know that Andy Garcia, Julianna Margulies, Alan Arkin and others keep secrets, reveal secrets and make the audience laugh.  Click here for the "City Island" review.

Looking for something to do with the kids this weekend?  Animated adventure and flying fire-breathing dinosaurs in 3-D fill the screen in the rambunctious fantasy tale "How to Train Your Dragon."

Who knew late-night talk show host Craig Ferguson could pump vocal life into a rotund, peg-legged Viking blacksmith? 

Click here for the "How to Train Your Dragon" review.

Also, if you're in the mood for some gloomy relationship reality, Ben Stiller serves writer-director Noah Baumbach ("The Squid and the Whale") well as a lost soul in dire need of a human emotional port in "Greenberg."

Click here for the "Greenberg" review.

Have fun at the movies.  And if you slide into "Hot Tub Time Machine" anyway, remember this:

You were warned!

Spill your hot tub story, win a prize (maybe)

The "Hot Tub Time Machine" guys (from left):  Craig Robinson, Rob Corddry, John Cusack and Clark Duke.  (M-G-M)

David Letterman said it best on his late-night talk show Tuesday night.

Referring to the upcoming "splash and dash back in time" comedy "Hot Tub Time Machine," opening Friday, his thought:

"I know genius when I hear it."

Genius?  Probably not, except possibly from Hollywood's publicity gristmill.  Fun to kid around with, though?

Heck yeah.

So my idea, which ranks about as far removed from genius as a sober, conscious man can get, is this:

Many of us have our own hot tub stories.  They may not involve traveling back in time as John Cusack and pals do in "Hot Tub Time Machine," but, then again, some just might.

The idea is to submit your best hot tub story as a comment to this post.  The best one (as chosen by our esteemed panel of judge -- Me!) wins a Movie Memories with Larry Ratliff coffee mug stuffed with popcorn and candy and, of course, the much-coveted 4-jalapeño salute.

OK, got that?  I'll begin the competition with a true hot tub story that's a slam-dunk for you to top:

A few years ago, when my wife Suellen and I had radio advertising to sell within my movie reviews, previews and interviews that cluttered up the airwaves, we worked out an advertising deal with a San Antonio spa company.

I would talk on the radio about how sliding into one of their hot tubs was like "taking a 30 minute vacation."  Before I could tout the product, however, I had to experience the bubbly bliss for myself.  You know, being the method actor -- 'scuse me, pitchman -- that I was/am.

So off we went, changing into our bathing suits in the store's storeroom and easing into our "30-minute vacation" in the steamy back corner of the store.  It was quite fun, actually, although we can't go back to that store anymore.  (Just kidding, that's an old joke.)

So top that.  It shouldn't be difficult.  Your prize awaits.

Evans: From Human Torch to 'Capt. America'

Chris Evans as The Human Torch in "Fantastic Four:  Rise of the Silver Surfer."

(20th Century Fox)

When you're hot you're hot.

The Hollywood Reporter is spreading the news that Chris Evans, who zoomed across the sky and burst into flames as The Human Torch in the "Fantastic Four" superhero flicks, has agreed to accept Marvel's offer to portray Steve Rogers, also known as Captain America in the upcoming film.

Evans apparently wasn't the only actor in Hollywood vying for the superhero role.  On its Web site, CNN Entertainment runs down the list of Captain America wannabees who fell just a little short.

Click here to check out the CNN piece.

Sandra Bullock: Caring about the star next door

Sandra Bullock, the "movie star next door."  (Courtesy:  TriStar Pictures)

We seem to hear about celebrity-related infidelities on a regular basis these days.

If it's not a philandering politician and his shameless publicity-grubbing mistress, it's the most famous golfer in the world.

So why then are we so blindsided, if you'll excuse the pun, by the news that recent Oscar winner Sandra Bullock's husband, Jesse James, allegedly strayed while Ms. Bullock was off making "The Blind Side"?

Simple, my friends.  Bullock, who owns a home in the Texas Hill Country near Austin, is about as close as we're ever going to get to America's Sweetheart in these "anything goes" times.

I don't know about you, but the news earlier this week that Bullock canceled her trip to the London premiere of "The Blind Side" and vacated the family home in California hit me the wrong way.

Sure, the guy's named Jesse James, so it's not much of a stretch to go from there to "outlaw."  But Jesse shouldn't be robbing any tattooed-lady trains, so to speak.  He should have his wife's back, as Bullock so tenderly proclaimed with her Best Actress golden statuette in her hands on March 7.

Bullock is one tough cookie.  She'll survive.  But this one hurts.

If you'd like more on why we seem to care so much about the Bullock/James mess, Breeanna Hare, posting on the CNN.com Web site, puts all the pertinent info into a neat little blog basket.

Click here to read "Sandra Bullock's love life:  Why do we care?"

Send me in, Coach De Niro

Robert De Niro in "Everybody's Fine." 

(Courtesy:  Miramax Films)

If published reports are correct, near-legendary actor Robert De Niro is huddling up to portray Vince Lombardi, the legendary late Green Bay Packers coach, in an upcoming ESPN Films biopic to be titled "Lombardi."

It's a project with impressive pedigree.

In addition to the names De Niro and Lombardi already attached, according to an article posted on the Hollywood Reporter Risky Business blog, the script is coming from "Forrest Gump" scribe Eric Roth.

“There are few actors who could accurately portray the fire, passion and grit of Lombardi, and we’re thrilled to have Robert De Niro on our team,” said NFL vp programming Charles Coplin in the Risky Business post.

According to the Web post, the film's focus will be on the years Lombardi rebuilt the Packers into an NFL powerhouse.  That would be between 1959 and 1967.

It's still early in the game, but the plan now is to release the film in late Jan. 2012, between the NFL conference championship games and the Super Bowl.

R.I.P.: Peter Graves -- Capt. Oveur and out

Joey (Rossie Harris), Elaine (Julie Hagerty) and Capt. Oveur (Peter Graves) in "Airplane!" (Courtesy:  Paramount Pictures)

I never had the pleasure of meeting Peter Graves in person.

But TV's "Mission:  Impossible" star who died over the weekend just days short of his 84th birthday will always have a special place in my heart, my career as a film critic and my funny bone.

In the late 1970s, I got a wild idea.  I figured that If Roger Ebert and Gene Siskel (fiercely competitive Chicago newspaper film critics) could write about movies by day and talk about them on TV at night, why couldn't I?

I figured the TV part wouldn't be so difficult to land.  After all, I had several years TV news experience in the highly competitive Dallas-Fort Worth market.  Full disclosure:  By that time I had given up my TV news gig to find fame and fortune as a comedian, then a comedy writer and then -- perhaps finding my real station in life -- as a cab driver and bartender.

The newspaper connection would be the tough job to acquire, I thought.  I was correct.  Some patient (and, I suspect, amused) editor at the Dallas Morning News informed me that it would be nice (required, in fact) to have some newspaper experience before sharing my vast movie knowledge with Dallas Morning News readers.

After an extensive search, I landed a starvation wages job in the sports department of the Valley Morning Star newspaper in Harlingen, TX.  It was April Fools Day, 1980.

To say that I had an agenda is, without a doubt, the understatement of the last 30 years or so.  It only took three months of constant badgering to convince Valley Morning Star editors that what the paper needed was a film critic.  They reluctantly agreed, although I would have to maintain my sports department duties as well.

The first movie I reviewed as a paid professional was "Airplane!," which co-starred Peter Graves and opened over the July 4 weekend 1980.

There was no such thing as an advance screening for movie critic(s) at the time in the Rio Grande Valley.  So I took my seat at the first public screening on Friday afternoon with pencil and pad; ready to launch my movie critic career and my ultimate run on New York (which I figured would be sooner rather than later).

I don't remember the exact moment the pencil slipped from my hand in the dark and lodged in a wad of gum stuck to the floor, but it must have been about the time I realized that "Airplane!" was not like any movie I'd seen before.

In fact, it wasn't like any movie anyone had seen before.

It was a wild comic spoof; taking cheap and very funny potshots at the recent cheesy airline disaster flicks.  Graves deadpanned beautifully as the plane's captain, Clarence Oveur.  Kareem Abdul-Jabbar played co-pilot Roger Murdock and the great Leslie Nielsen was Dr. ("Don't call me Shirley") Rumack.

A young actor named Rossie Harris, who was 10 or 11 at the time, had the misfortune of being caught in the comic crossfire as Joey, a little boy on his first airplane flight brought into the cockpit to meet the captain:

Capt. Oveur (Graves):  "Joey, have you ever seen a grown man naked?"

And:  "Joey, do you like movies about gladiators?"  

Walking back out into the piercing South Texas sunlight that afternoon, I knew I had a decision to make.  And I had to make it fast because the deadline for my first film review was looming.

"Airplane!" -- stupidity personified or bar-raising comic brilliance?

I made what turned out to be the right choice, going with brilliance.

Peter Graves had a major role in that decision and with launching this career.

So thanks, and rest in peace Mr. Graves/Capt. Oveur.

Over and out.

I never got a chance to call you Shirley.

Movies & shakers: 'Green Zone,' 'Prophet'

Prison crime boss César (Niels Arestrup), left, and budding kingpin Malik (Tahar Rahim) in "A Prophet."  (Sony Pictures Classics)

It's Friday night (OK afternoon, but close enough) and you just got paid.  What's the hot movie to see?

Well, that's two questions this weekend.

"Green Zone," starring recent Academy Award nominee Matt Damon ("Invictus") and directed by Damon's "Bourne" collaborator Paul Greengrass, ranks as the hottest entry at your local multiplex this weekend.

It wouldn't be my first choice, however.  Click here for the review and the reasons why.

I'd line up down at the end of the hall or head over to the art house to see "A Prophet," the scalding prison crime drama imported from France.  Click herefor the review of the foreign film Oscar nominee that took Grand Prix honors at the Cannes Film Festival last year.

If you're thinking mainstream, your choices include "Remember Me,"which features "Twilight's" Robert Pattinson in a romantic-drama with Emilie de Ravin, the romantic-comedy "She's Out of My League" and "Our Family Wedding,"a comedy starring Forest Whitaker and America Ferrera.

Let's just say, for a second, that you love offbeat foreign films.  I've got the quirky Romanian import for you.  Seek out "Police, Adjective" and experience a couple of days in the life of a conflicted undercover narcotics cop with a conscience.  Here's the review.

  

What price fame? 'Lost Boy' Corey Haim dead

(Courtesy:  20th Century Fox)

Corey Haim, a rising film star in the 1980s, apparently lost his long, ongoing battle with drugs around 5:30 a.m. Central Time this morning.

According to a story posted on the CNN.com Web site, the 38-year-old actor was taken to Providence St. Joseph Medical Center in Burbank, CA, "where he was pronounced dead at about 3:30 a.m. local time."

The death appears to be accidental -- possibly a drug overdose -- according to what CNN could gather from police Sgt. Frank Albarran.

I first noticed the Canadian-born actor when he played the title role of a shy, bullied 14-year-old high school kid in "Lucas" in 1986.  Some of you might remember that a very young Charlie Sheen played Cappie (captain of the football team), the frail, sensitive kid's protector.

Haim's most famous role came a year later in "The Lost Boys."  Haim appeared with Corey Feldman, and their careers and subsequent drug-addition battles would follow them for years.  They joined forces for "The Two Coreys," a reality TV show on the A&E network in 2007, but it was short-lived.

I ran into the two Coreys in an elevator in what appeared to be happier times.  It was Oscar afternoon 1989 in Hollywood when the elevator door opened at my hotel.  Facing me, or actually sort of leaning (or slumping) against the elevator, were Haim and Feldman.

We were all decked out in tuxedos on our way to the Shrine Auditorium for the 61st Academy Awards.  I was nervous because of several fast-approaching newspaper deadlines I would face throughout the evening.

The two Coreys were relaxed.  Giddy even.

Maybe too giddy.  

Academy Awards -- The slow must go on

Steve Martin, left, and co-host Alec Baldwin go to the 3-D glasses to look for "Avatar" director James Cameron.  (Courtesy:  houmatoday.com/AP)

It's impossible to "fix" the Academy Awards, but the telecast doesn't have to be this listless.

Maybe it's time to quit tinkering with Hollywood's biggest night and just let Oscar be Oscar; staid and stuffy, yes, but packing the movie industry's most-coveted keepsakes.

Sunday night's ceremonies, as many of you know, were super-sized.  There were two producers instead of one, two hosts instead of one and 10 best picture nominees instead of the traditional five.

Unfortunately, Sunday night's "improvements" were super-sized off Hollywood's 99-cent menu.  None of the changes added to the excitement or kept the 82nd Academy Awards from crawling along at a snail's pace for the usual three and a-half hours.

From the Duh! department

What co-producers Adam Shankman and Bill Mechanic know this morning and the rest of the world knew all along was that doubling down on Best Picture nominees must, by definition, prolong the evening.  You have 10 nominees instead of five, you must show 10 movie trailers (or film clips).

About Steve Martin and Alec Baldwin

Two funny guys.  Two clever guys.  Two gifted talents.  But one too many when it comes to hosting the Oscars.

Bob Hope, the perfect combination of Hollywood insider, star and royalty, did it best.  And he went it mostly alone for a record-breaking 18 times over three decades (1950s, '60s, '70s).

Like Hope, Billy Crystal (my modern-era favorite) knew how to come on with a bang, sling a few barbs at icons staring back at him in the front row and get on with the show.

Martin would have been fine alone, as he was in 2001 and 2003.  Thrown together with Baldwin, the timing (especially from Baldwin) was jerky at best.  Sorry boys, but you don't establish that flawless Hope/Crosby or Martin/Lewis rapport over a few rehearsals no matter how gifted you are.

Gutting Oscar tradition; to have not

I have no problem with movie star newbies like Jeremy Renner of "The Hurt Locker" or Carey Mulligan of "An Education" inching into the spotlight and edging out Hollywood's Old Guard.  These young actors are the real deal and are likely to be around for decades.

There's only so much screen time to spread around, even for a show that appears to hang around forever.  So you may have noticed the absence of Jack Nicholson, Clint Eastwood and even Steven Spielberg this year, just to name a few big names missing from the spotlight. 

I do have a problem, however, when Oscar's producers opt to delegate this year's honorary awards to a "let's do lunch" ceremony and a brief mention during the actual telecast.

From this recliner seat, the mood appeared to be, "Hurry up, Lauren Bacall ("To Have and Have Not," "The Big Sleep") and Roger Corman (B-movie directing god)(who were in the audience), "get your standing ovation over with so we can move on to a prolonged dance segment."

Ah yes, the dance segment

Someone, somewhere got the idea that the Academy Awards telecast, which is already seen by about a billion viewers around the world, must be re-tooled to appeal to a younger audience.

"I know, I know," co-producer Shankman may have said jumping up and down in his seat during production meetings.  (Or maybe not, I'm guessing here.)  "Why don't we toss out all those Best Song performances and replace them with a 20-minute (it seemed to me) dance montage celebrating the movie scores?"

So that's what they did.  Someone turned the Academy Awards over to a judge on "So You Think You Can Dance."

I could go on and on.  For instance, what was up with all the blatant gum-chewing?  Cameron Diaz wasn't the only one caught chomping away.  But please, at least pretend to have a little respect and class.

The moment that made me scream at our TV

First time Oscar ceremonies director Hamish Hamilton ("MTV Video Music Awards") should be banished from the booth forever for missing the key camera shot of the evening.

"Avatar" director James Cameron was sitting directly behind Kathryn Bigelow, director of "The Hurt Locker" and Cameron's ex-wife.

Hamilton blew one of the rare genuinely interesting moments of the evening when he abruptly switched to a wide shot of the Kodak Theater auditorium instead of sticking with Bigelow when she made history as the first woman ever to be named Best Director.

Come on, we all love a good soap opera.  What would happen as Bigelow rose from her chair?  Would she turn around and acknowledge her ex, give him a Bronx Cheer (or worse) or simply ignore Cameron altogether?

Thanks to a bonehead play by a rookie director, about a billion people will never know.

Sorry, Oscar.  You deserve better.